It is so easy to let fear get ahold of you. We get our eyes of Christ and start to look around us. We begin to look at our circumstances. The enemy suggests all sorts of possibilities which we take to heart. The statistics could be 99.9999999999% in your favor but you're suddenly positive that you are in the 0.0000000001%. If fear overwhems you it can cause you to act irrationally or even paralyze you into doing absolutely nothing. The enemy loves to wrap us in chains of fear because we can easily be rendered powerless and ineffective.
I'd done some research on the drugs I take for chemo treatments as well as the side-effects of radiation. Let me tell you, that's some pretty scary stuff! The nurses who administer chemo drugs have to specially trained. I have a port which makes the drugs easier to administer but if any of the drugs spill out of my vein the surrounding tissue will be burned and damaged. They very carefully push "The Red Devil" (adriamycin) into me themselves rather than trust it to an IV drip. So, I'm getting filled with some pretty toxic things. They have to be toxic to kill any renegade cancer cells but at the same time, there can be damaging side-effects...some of them permanent. All of this can be pretty scary to say the least.
As I wrote out my prayer request for our church prayer team, one of the things I've been consistantly asking people to pray about is that God protects me from the serious side effects of chemo. I'm not talking about hair-loss here. That grows back! I'm talking about heart and liver damage, nerve damage, damage to my joints, debilitating chronic pain, etc.
This made me start thinking about things like fiery furnaces and lions dens. When you think about it, those are pretty "toxic" places as well. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego should have burned up. Even those who threw them into the furnace will killed even though they weren't actually in the furnace. The only thing that on them which burned up was the bonds that held them. That's a whole nother blog! They didn't even smell of smoke! They were in the midst of the fire and the fire didn't even actually touch them. Why? Because God said "No."
Daniel was thrown into a den of lions. These were mean, hungry lions. That gets proved later when his enemies were thrown to them! By all rights, Daniel should have been turned into lion stew or something along those lines. He's there in the midst of them and they don't touch him unless they wanted him to pet them. Hey, it's possible. None of us were there to see exactly what went on. All we know is the Word says:
When fear tries to raise it's ugly head at me I love to remember these beautiful words:
Lest I be misinterpreted, I am not in any way suggesting that we pretend evil is not around us. The men I mentioned were fully aware that unless God intervened they would die. I don't know about Daniel but Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had not received any specific promise of deliverance from God. Their relationship with God was not based on what God did. It was based on who God is!
This is why we can walk through the midst of evil! This is why we can Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. Phil. 4:4
We recognize who God is and understand that we belong to him. We are under his protection...no matter what the outcome is for the flesh. We can truly say:
Very timely blog, K. I struggle with fear quite often, and even this week am fearful for my son. I needed to hear what you wrote.
And i am praying like B2Y, no side effects!
I fear no man,
I haven't since I was a LittleBoy(8 yrs. old), I had 4 different dads by the age of 12
and when I was 8 a 15 yr old boy tried to molest me in the orange groves behind my house.
As I ran away, he was yelling at me"I'll Kill you" and a few other things,
anyways the next day when I got home from school the police was at his house
and my mom was gone, she came home soon after and she had blood on her clothes
and began to tell me that she heards an explosion and the boy next door running around screaming/crying,
Because he blew-off all his fingers from his hands and that she took him to the hospital.
That Day I found out WHO my Father IS, He is the Most High and his 1st begotten sits on his right side, and I Fear No Man...
For Me/us to die, IS Gain, For I will be with the Lord, I have trimmed my wick & my Lamp is full, My Heart overflows when I
think of being with them and I do long and Ache for that day of the Lord.
ps. I just told my mom about a year ago what that boy tried to do to me
and what he said he was going to do to me(Kill me, among other things)
She cried and told me how sorry she was/is for the life I had, I told her that it was/is ok, that she did the best she knew how,
and because of that hardship, It made me a good dad to my kids...
All my Kids & Grandkids live a stones throw away, It humbles me to know that God Loves me so much as to give me such Blessings as I have,
Thank You Father, Be unto others as you've been unto me and pour out your Spirit upon them and take the fears of this world from them,
In the name of your Son Yahshua/Jesus I ask of you...
I actually wrote this last March, the day before I went in for my third chemo infusion of adriamycin (red devil) and cytoxan. As I was perusing some older blogs, I came across this one and decided to put it in the featured blogs simply because this is an issue I'm struggling with again. It just goes to show you we must always be vigilant. We're not home until we're actually home.
Last winter, right before I went in for surgery, my fellow second grade teachers had given me a beautiful journal to write in along with some other gifts. It's funny but as hard as I would try, I just couldn't write in that journal. No, instead God apparently thought I needed to pour out my heart (including the good, the bad and the ugly) and post it out on the internet where everyone could see it.
What can I say. He wasn't going to let me hide stuff in a drawer somewhere. I'm not saying journaling is a bad thing by any means. I'm just saying that God knew this would be best for me. I can run but I can't hide from things I've said in the past. That's one way of ensuring I put my money where my mouth is so to speak. :wink:
Seriously, this really is a good thing. As I read through this blog again yesterday, I thought I bore little resemblance to the woman who wrote that. Who was she and where had she gone?
That's when you cling to that which you have known to be true...no matter what you feel like. We have to remember that we are under the protection of the King, regardless of how things look or feel or what happens.
CB brother Doulos in Malaysia reminded me that God is writing my testimony daily. The message at church this morning talked God writing the script for our lives. We're part of His story. Hmmm...that sort of sounds like the testimony thing doesn't it. Then dear Princess Kbird in New Zealand sent me the message she mentions. I just happened to read the message/prayer which deals with this topic before I read her comment.
Hmmm....messages from Malaysia, Minnesota and New Zealand coming to me and reminding me that God is in control and that He is bigger than fear. Three places from across the globe with the same message coming at just the right times. I may be thick-headed but I'm not that thick-headed. I'm a part of God's story, He has me and He will never let go
He does have you and will never let you go. Me too. isn't it refreshing though, to read where you were last year and even though you're struggling in that area still, you have grown over the past year. We may not be home till we're home, but honey, you're a bit closer than you were before.