Oddly enough, one of the toughest things I ever did was look into the mirror after my son shaved my head. While that may not seem like such a big deal to some men, especially those who shave their head on a somewhat regular basis, women will truly understand how traumatic that is, especially for a woman who has rarely had her hair cut shorter than shoulder length during her lifetime.
It would have been very easy to try to cover everything up. A lot of women refuse to look the mirror at all. Really. They won't allow their spouse to see them without hair and some will even sleep in their wig. For me, it was important to take a good hard look at reality. It wasn't easy but I tried to do it. Ironically, when you do go out in public, you discover that for the most part no one is really the least concerned about whether you have hair or not.
While people could plainly see the external part of me, I realized that being bald did not define who I was. As a Christian, Christ defines who I am. I knew I needed to remember that; especially during the tough days that lay before me.
I wrote a little bit about this nearly a year ago but there are a lot of new people and I thought I'd mention this again. There is a reason my avatar is a picture of the word princess in pink rhinestone letters. It is a pin I purchased before I started treatment. I was thinking about how much I needed to remember who I was in Christ if I was going to get through surgery, chemo, radiation and all of the other stuff that goes along with being a cancer survivor. While it may seem silly to some men, women and the men who truly love those women with their whole heart understand that breast cancer in particular additionally tries to rob a woman of feeling like a woman. It doesn't matter if she has a bilateral mastectomy or just a lumpectomy. There is a feeling of loss and grief. I needed to remember who I was in Christ! I am adopted by God! Galatians 4:4-6 (NLT)
I suddenly got the idea to search eBay for a princess pin with pink letters. I had never seen such a thing but I had a funny feeling it was out there. Call it a "God-Thing". I typed in princess pin and there it was! I couldn't believe it. I bought that pin. Not because I was trying to be proud or arrogant (although a few friends teased me about that) but because I needed to remember exactly who I was in Christ.
I pinned it to a pink cap I had which said "Chick Night". That's the night women at our church move in and take over. The few men who are permitted in have to wear pink shirts which say Chick Night as well. Our theme verse is Isaiah 62:3 (ESV). Perfect. I need to remember that! So, I would head off to treatment wearing what I called my princess cap; a pink baseball cap with the word princess pinned on it. I wore that poor hat a lot; just because I needed to remember who I was. I didn't look like a princess or feel like a princess but I was still a princess of God.
It is important to remember who you are in Christ. I needed to remember that as powerful drugs such as adriamycin, cytoxin and taxol were pumped into my chest via a port inserted into my subclavian vein and into my superior vena cava. I needed to remember that as my appearance changed due to the effects of those drugs and my immune system was being bombed and nuked. I needed to remember that as I watched my skin burn and peel. Trust me, a sunburn is nothing compared to this.
Spiritually, we face things like this all of the time. We are constantly bombarded with things such as discouragement, lust, pride, malice, self-pity, etc. We must not forget who we are in Christ. We walk in the power of His strength! At the same time, we must never forget that we are not the source of that power and strength, God is. It's a fine line to walk but we can walk it if we keep our eyes focused on Christ rather than ourselves and give God the glory for every victory!
Remember who you are in Christ and don't let anyone tell you any differently!
I just want you to know that I have never seen a picture of you and in truth i am kinda glad. I can only see you as the beautiful sister that our Lord has given me to understand things outside my realm. Truth is the pink pin that you use as your logo has put that idea in my mind. As i read all the fruits that fall from your tree I can honestly say that You are wrothy of the image that it gives you. What a blessing God has given me to be able to see you through this pin.
I truly believe one of the reasons that you shine such a bright light on life for the rest of us is because you are so close to our Lord. I also believe that you have been given special talents to relate our Lords message to those of us who yearn to be closer to Him. I praise God for you, and hope that you never get discouraged through your travels. I would also like to add that our Lord would never put such a bright lamp in place that can be hidden, otherwise why would He create the light.
Thank you for being by beautiful sister.