I have had to "walk on the water" at various times in my life but never so much as I have over the past two and a half years. After the pathology report confirmed that I had an aggressive form of breast cancer (triple negative) and even with surgery, chemo and radiation, I am at high risk of it returning, I knew I needed to be walking on the water for that was where Jesus was.
If the tumor wouldn't have been found (it was found during a routine mammogram), and it had gone much longer, my oncologist told me due to the aggressiveness of my tumor I would have had about two years at the most. Just a few days short of two years after that pathology report was written, I had that aneurysm rupture in my brain. According to the world, December has not been a good month for me 2007-2009 (I had another cancer scare in December 2008 but it was benign). However, in the larger scheme of things, December has been a very good month for me in that I have seen some mighty moves of God!
With the possibility of recurrence which will remain with me for the rest of my life as well as wondering if my head will ever explode again, I feel I have no choice but to walk on the water. There is no boat for me to take refuge in. No one can tell me I will never face cancer again. No one. Sometimes an oncologist will tell someone that... but not me. They don't think my head will ever "explode" again as they don't see anything that would suggest it but... who knows. The thought certainly does cross my mind once in awhile.
How do I deal with this? I remember that
Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me. (Psalm 23:4)
You, O Lord keep my lamp burning, my God turns my darkness into light. (Psalm 18:28I remember that even if I can't see Him, hear Him or touch Him, He is out there on the water with me... and I keep on walking!