It has been a very tough winter for me. In December I had a ruptured brain aneurysm and stroke. Since any sick days I had previously accumulated were pretty much wiped out by cancer (teachers don't get paid vacation days like you do with many full time jobs in the US), I have spent most of January trying to fight for payment from the "sick leave pool". Due to countless errors which are currently being investigated, my claim to receive any pay for all of January and part of February, has been denied.
At the same time, it has been a very blessed winter! Oh, how I wept when I read the prayers posted here on my behalf while I was in the hospital. Oh how I am rejoicing that God brought me through a ruptured brain aneurysm unscathed other than the fact that I now have a titanium coil in my brain. For the most part, people do not survive ruptured brain aneurysms and if they do, they generally go to nursing homes or rehabilitation. To return to work six weeks after the rupture is the exception, not the rule.
As I battled for my life with a broken brain I felt the presence of God as I have never felt it before. It is impossible to explain what it is like to actually not be able to "think". I'm not talking about searching for thoughts or words. I am talking about the absence of "thinking" altogether. Even thought I experienced it, I find it difficult to comprehend!
What I do know is that through "the nothingness" God came. Out of "the nothingness" came His presence and His voice which bypassed my broken mind and enveloped me. "I am with you." ... and He was.
Yesterday morning while driving to school, as I reflected on the struggles I am currently facing, a song came over the radio which I want to share. May it serve as a reminder that
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you. Isaiah 43:2
We have never officially met, but I have been following your blogs for a couple of months now since I found CB. I have enjoyed tremendously your words of encouragement in light of what you've been through. You are an inspiration. I'm sitting here thinking about the day I have ahead of me and the trials I must go through at work. It's going to be a rough day for me today. Then I read your posting and I have to remind myself how others have triumphed over their hardships. My valley is nothing compared to this woman who has been through so much. I thank you very much for the perspective I needed.
God bless you and I pray that things will work out for you at work.
What a tremendous testimony. Living proof--"I'll never leave you or forsake you." You are in rare company--I am reminded of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and our Lord in the midst of them. You are a blessing. My prayers are for your continued healing.
I know someone that expressed great JOY and continues to even now with her blogs and comments since the days of no thinking.
Though you have suffered what I can't imagine you have shared overflowing joy. And that has given me much joy in the Lord through you.
I mention you often in my prayers,