This morning, as I read a blog by Phillip Jones entitled The Curses of God Last, I began to think about the differences between men and women besides the obvious physical ones. Though we do have a lot of similarities, there are also differences in the way we think, feel, interpret words and actions, react and even in how we speak. Many a man has been left shaking his head in bewilderment not understanding what on earth he said and/or did to ignite that sort of response in his wife and to complicate things even more, sometimes the ignitor was what he did not say or do. We women like to keep things interesting for you men. We can't have you getting bored now, can we?
I think one of the biggest tragedies in modern society is the attempt to strip men of their manhood and women of the womanhood by insisting that we are the same. We are not and the results of the push to perpetuate this falsehood as truth is evident in our society today. When society demands that men behave like women and women behave like men or that they both behave exactly the same, it is attempting to enforce and encourage abnormal or deviant human behavior. God designed us to complement one another. He designed men the way they are for a reason. The same is true of women. Rather than seek to become like the other, we need to seek to become who God designed us to be.
As I was musing about the differences between men and women, my thoughts went back to a very painful day in mid-December back in 2012. It was the day my husband lost the position that he had held since 1985. After so many years we had thought it would never happen but it did. It hurts to go back and remember that day and yet at the same time it reveals how a husband and wife need one another.
It was interesting what happened when my husband lost his job. Initially, it was a terrible blow. An unbelievable blow compounded by the fact that he had a wife who was physically and mentally vulnerable. I remember him standing in a room, crying out in agony not, "What am I going to do?" but crying out over and over again about what was going to happen to his wife. This gave me a glimpse into the heart of a man at a level that I had never seen before. Though it was over two years ago, my husband's cry is as fresh in my mind as it was that day and it still brings tears to my eyes. I actually stood between him and the floor. I stood there under his dead-weight for I do not know how long. That was me being his help-meet. My knees buckled and I almost went down but I didn't. With all of my strength, I managed to raise us up, not completely, but we were further from the floor than we had been. That sort of thing happened several times over the next few days during his initial shock.
Did this mean I was stronger than him? Absolutely not because you see, within a couple of weeks he was back on his feet and despite looking for work for 13 months, he was optimistic, doing whatever God brought his way to do. We would get through this with God's help. I was a different story. Once he was back on his feet, it was my turn. During the rest of the time, I learned how important security was to me. I battled against fear constantly. I needed the closeness of and reassurances from my husband that I was "safe". It is interesting to note that this struggle did not cease after he got a permanent job once again because we were still, at that time, dependent on supplemental freelance work to meet our monthly obligations. As that need has gradually diminished, my struggles in this area have lessened. While I always knew it was important, I will never again underestimate a woman's need for fathers, husbands, brothers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers-in-Christ and even sons, nephews and male cousins in their lives. Never.
Men and women. We often do not understand one another. We shake our head puzzled over "the men" or "the women" wondering whatever is going on in their heads. We are often a mystery to one another but God knew exactly what He was doing. When one is weak, the other is strong. What one does not see, the other one does. God designed us to complement one another, help one another and God's design is both perfect and beautiful.
We need to strive to be who God intended us to be and not like the other. We are both necessary, we are both important. That's why God made us the way we are and when He did so, God said that it was good and it is.
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Think in this you said it all. Thank you for this blog K.
[b]When one is weak, the other is strong. What one does not see, the other one does. God designed us to complement one another, help one another and God's design is both perfect and beautiful.[b]
Yes, most definitely this is how it is supposed to work ~ help meets.
But the media, television shows and commercials are doing their best to emasculate men and make them look stupid. Women are always the smarter one, always "saving" the man from all the stupid mistakes he makes, etc. Makes me sick. And these are the "role models" that today's kids are looking at.
Even so, come Lord Jesus!