It has begun. As I face my second round of chemo in three hours, I am staring at the long strands of hair which fell out of my head. It started late afternoon with a couple here and there. I'd been watching for it as I knew it was going to happen. The powerful drugs sent in to destroy any renegade fast-growing cancer cells does not know the difference between "good" fast growing cells such as my hair, nails, cells in my mouth, respiratory system, digestive system, skin, etc. My nails, usually so fast growing appear to have stopped.
I picked up my wig yesterday afternoon. Ironically, I started losing long strands of hair on the way home. It's not noticeable yet and I have not lost the predicted clumps yet, but it is coming. This morning, hair started coming out in small groups of five or six strands rather than single. I guess the crowd is starting to follow the leaders!:)
The last time I had chemo, I didn't know what to expect. This time, I do know what to expect. In some ways that makes it harder. I've completely recovered from my surgery now as well as from when the port was put in. My incisions are all healed. On Monday, I started feeling physically better than I have felt since my cancer diagnosis. Yesterday I felt as good as new! Today, I'm going to voluntarily change all of that...again.
Not surprisingly, the following verse came to mind this morning:
"Hmm...", I thought a bit ruefully, "mine should be pretty easy to count soon as my son is going to shave my head in the next few days so I don't look like a moth-eaten rat!" I remembered what my oncologist had said. He'd told me that losing my hair would be a sign that the drugs were doing their job. I'll remember that even though they're a bit too efficient and over-zealous for me!
I reflected on that verse again. I back up a bit this time. Chemo is not going to kill my body. They're monitoring me too closely for that. I learned that during my emergency room adventure. All I needed was a new prescription for an inhaler and they wired me, poked and prodded me plus gave me a CT scan at 4:00 a.m.! Even if chemo were to kill me, it cannot kill my soul. Sometimes as Christians we act like our troubles and trials are going to destroy our soul also. They're not and we need to stop behaving that way. Only God has the final say in regards to our soul!
You know, it doesn't matter if the number of hairs on my head is 999,999,999,999,999... ... ...or 0. God knows when when even a tiny sparrow falls and his own Word tells me I am much more valuable to God! Here I go! It's time to face the world like a princess of God!
Yes my sister, and every little princess of God is remembered by Him not allowing even one second to pass without Him looking over them. You have been and will be remembered in my prayers.
The first scripture that came to my mind was:
1Pe 3:3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
And you, my dear, are beautiful. I know it from your posts.
I will be praying for you today.
PS -- A few years ago I struck up a conversation with a lovely lady while we were each waiting for a table for dinner at a restaurant. She mentioned that she was going through chemo. I was quite surprised and asked her how it was that she still had a head full of hair. She was quite pleased and told me it was a wig! I had no idea. It was beautiful. I knew another woman going thru chemo who, for reasons unknown to me, opted not to tell her mother about it. She wore a wig and her mother had no idea.
As a woman who has a hair loss problem because of heredity, I also like that verse.
At least I know where they all are.
You are a blessing to all.
When my friend's hair grew back after her chemo treatments she had curly not straight like before and it was even a different color. Look forward to the change.
:coffee: drinking green tea
The hair is all gone. I started shedding more rapidly and I noticed several large strands hanging a couple of inches below the rest of my hair. It was time. My mom first cut it pretty short. She kept a lock for herself. Then my son shaved it completely except for a fine bit of fuzz. We all just stared at it for a bit. Then Dana said, "You know, I really do like it. It makes your eyes look so much bigger. Everyone starting agreeing and we laughed. I took a quick shower and stared at the eyes in front of me. Yes, that was sill me. I was hairless, but eyes which looked back at me were still mine. I still had my smile, I still had my laugh. Nothing much had changed except...I had no hair.
I slipped into my wig and did a little fashion show. Everyone liked it and pronounced it looked a lot like my real hair. It hasn't felt too bad. It will take a bit of getting used to but there are far worse things in life. My hair will start growing back the end of June. Until that time, I won't have to worry about much combing, curling, blow drying, or having over all bad hair days. It's just rinse and shake my hair with wig shampoo and conditioner once a week the nigh before. Let it dry overnight and off I go. I may end up liking this quite a bit!
This too will pass dear sister. As one who knows all too well the "interesting" adventures in the healing process; I promise to pray for you daily that only good things will come from this ordeal. Did you have enough hair to send to "locks of love"?
Bless your wonderful heart with all His love and goodness.
I didn't unfortunately. I didn't learn about that wonderful group until after I had clipped my hair some back in January in preparation for dealing with this. I then learned hair had to be six inches, I believe and mine wasn't quite five. It was still a half in too short. I'll know better if I have to go through this again! You are so right, this too will pass. In the meantime, I can have a bit of fun with this now and then. My husband (and son) have been losing their hair for sometime know. We joke that I just had to get the better of them and I shoot back that one of us get's our back and no one has to know about mine unless I, or come to think one of it them whip off my wig in public! I guess I'd better be nice!