Life was good. I felt strong. I'd been battered but I was still upright. I felt hopeful. I was waiting in anticipation of what would happen next. I even felt joyful because I knew I was in his hand.
1 I love you, O LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies. Psalm 18: 1-3 (NIV)
Then a cloud descended and the darkness settled down around me. I fought against it but it didn't lift.4 The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
5 The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me. Psalm 18:4-5 (NIV)
I cried out to the Lord but the darkness persisted. So, what do you do then? You have a choice. You can either trust the darkness or trust God . Anyone can trust God in the brightness of the light. Trusting God when the darkness seems to have you by the throat is a different matter. That takes faith.28 You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
I may not be able to penetrate the darkness but God can. I may not be able to see the light but God can. I must keep my hand outstretched toward him regardless of what I see, feel or hear. I must not drop my hand regardless of what other voices whisper. Whatever I do, I must not stop reaching toward God. 6 In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.
7 The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.
8 Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.
9 He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.
10 He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
11 He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him-
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
12 Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
13 The LORD thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.
14 He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies ,
great bolts of lightning and routed them. Psalm 18:6-14 (NIV)
The nightmare vanished, the morning has come. My God turned my darkness into light!
8/24/11--This blog is now part of a series entitled Walking With God In The Midst of Cancer
Note: This was written on the evening of Monday, February 25, 2008. I received my first chemo infusion on Friday, February 29, 2008