Over the past three years, many of you who are able to view this blog have become some very dear friends of mine. Some of you have even had "front-row" seats as you watched me battle cancer, a ruptured brain-aneurysm and other issues that went along with it. We have laughed together and cried together and prayed together. It has been a privilege and a blessing to "do life with you as we all do life with God!" I'm writing this blog to my friends here at CB because I am facing a "new adventure" a "new journey".
In December of this year, it became apparent that I was experiencing some symptoms which might have been residual effects of my sub-arachnoid hemorrhage and stroke back in December 2009. This past January, it was decided to put me on an administrative leave (medical-related), until some questions were answered. They were answered last week. There is some impairment primarily in regards to short-term memory.
The good news is it is mild. Also, because the brain is very slow to heal, continued improvement is expected over the next 12 months. The bad news is that even with the projected improvement, it is highly unlikely that I will be able to return to teaching in a regular classroom. I can still teach in certain settings; smaller groups, classes focused on one particular subject and perhaps even older and more independent students but not a classroom of 27 seven and eight year olds. While this might seem odd, one of the side-effects I am experiencing is difficulty in "filtering out" what is going on around me (I hear EVERYTHING it seems) and an increased level of distractibility. It has been determined that while I manage this pretty well most of the time, when it reaches a certain level, I can't. Primary classrooms are usually above that certain level !
I am at a crossroad, waiting to see where God takes me. Will I have to teach in another setting? Will I have to leave teaching altogether? Is God moving me into another profession? Will I have to go on disability?
The loss of my job, even if I am eligible to collect disability will have a serious financial impact on my husband and I. That possibility also looms high on the horizon. Since beginning this blog the other day, God has made it very clear to me that regardless of what I face, I am tucked away safely in His hand. I will be writing about one such event and sharing it as a blog later today.
As I am sitting here, contemplating my future, my eyes are lifted up, reading the words which hang above my desk. Words I have shared here at CB so many times over the years:
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they,produce for us a glory that easily outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now, rather we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone but the things we cannot see will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NLT)
Not a single one of us know exactly what the next moment will hold for us. I know that well! I just wound up that little music box my son and daughter-in-law gave me for my 50th birthday. As it plays, "Amazing Grace" which I wrote about once. As it plays I am watching the little silver cross with pink and white flowers go around and around. I am reading the words etched on it which say:
The Light of God surrounds me. The Love of God enfolds me. The Power of God protects me. The Presence of God watches over me. Wherever I am, God is and all is well.
Life is a series of adventures! Regardless of what new adventure we may face, we can be confident that we are not facing it alone for as His children, wherever we are, God is... and all is well.
You O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. Ps. 18:28
Thank you for sharing the "next adventure." You are a blessing and an inspiration to us all here.
[quote]Life is a series of adventures! Regardless of what new adventure we may face, we can be confident that we are not facing it alone for as His children, wherever we are, God is... and all is well.[/quote]
Amen to that!
Through the sharing of your life and these little pot holes (I say little because you do keep things in a much larger perspective), you demonstrate my own mantra:
"I always have a good day, even when bad things happen"
May God continue to bless and keep you, my friend.
Sister K, yes let the peace of God flow into you and your family as you embark a new journey and a new phase. May all your needs be met and may the Lord continue to guide you in the days ahead.
Just know that His eyes are always on us, He who looks after the birds of the air will surely look after His children.
Thanks for sharing about your life.
From Hwa Silverpen
God never said or implied that walking with and for Him would always be easy. Some of us know that all too well. As difficult and trying as the current situation is, and I understand full well how difficult it has been, you know and I know that God is and always will be in control. He will never leave you "hung out to dry" or drop you off in the wilderness and never come pick you up.
I believe the stronger in the faith one is, the more trials they will be faced with in this life. It goes with territory. Those unwilling to place themselves in the total care of God are those who insist on "playing it safe". They may not have as many trials and tribulations but they also will not have as many victories and times of intense spiritual growth.
You are, and always will be not only a survivor but a shining example of the reality of living one's faith. Your sharing of the struggles you go through help all of us to see that victory is not found by snapping one's fingers but rather by wrestling with one's doubts and subduing them to God's Word.
This too will pass, just as the cancer did and the sub-arachnoid hemorrhage/stroke and all the other times of intense battles in your life. God will take care of you so you can continue to bless us with your life, wisdom and simple child like faith.
How I love to read stories of faith! I always have. I call it getting a front-row seat to seeing what God is doing and as you know, when I hear/see these things not only in my own life but the lives of others I can scarcely contain my joy! While the road may not always be easy, God travels upon it and I want to be where He is, B2Y. I want a front-row seat!