While going through some old files, I came across a poem I wrote back in 2003. It's funny, I can't even remember what I was going through at the moment but I do recall writing this after being on my knees and with tear-filled eyes unclenching my hands and holding them wide-open before God. I'm also including the memory which inspired the poem. May we all be willing to stand before God and relinquish our will to His!
Pulled beneath, Through the storm, Struggles cease, Breathing deep,
The boiling flood,
Fighting the current,
Fear chills my blood.
Crushed by rocks,
I cannot rise,
Empty lungs screaming,
With silent cries.
Your voice I hear,
"My precious child,
You need not fear.
Listen to Me,
And do not fight,
Without your might."
I yield to You,
And waiting too.
Cast into Your Will,
I will relent.
Within my soul,
I feel Your Spirit,
Through me it flows.
I do not see,
But only the One,
Who died for me.
Through the storm,
In May 1980, several days after I got engaged, I nearly lost my life in a whitewater rafting accident on the Occoee River, near a dam, in southeastern Tennessee. Recent rains had caused flooding and although two rafts safely made it through, the last one did not. I should probably add that a few minutes before this happened, I was asked by the guide to switch places with someone. If that had not happened, I would have been the person who actually hit the bridge. Although they were hurt, they did make it safely to shore and recovered. As it was, I was on the opposite side and was thrown clear.
After being thrown into the water when our raft was driven into a bridge, I was caught by the current and driven into some rocks on the bottom. When I hit them, my ankle became wedged and I was unable to get my leg free. No one knew where I was except for God. As my mind started to grow fuzzy, I became acutely aware that God WAS watching me. A command to raise my hands broke through my jumbled thoughts. It was a command I could not disobey. I had no choice.
Although I was at the bottom of a deep, flooded river, the tips of my fingers hit something. It was the bottom of my husband's foot. At that same moment, without seeing me, he knew it was me (there were nine or ten other people in the water). As he reached down and grabbed my hand, I felt the rocks slip and I was free!
A few days later, while driving home to Minnesota alone, I wondered if I really had been trapped or if it had been my overactive imagination. I got my answer within minutes. As I sat there thinking about it, I felt a strange sensation in my ankle. My foot started to hurt. I looked down and to my horror, I watched my ankle swell and turn red. When I got out of my car in Indiana, I couldn't put any weight on it. My father-in-law told me I wasn't going anywhere with an ankle like that and could not believe I'd driven nearly 400 miles with it like that. The next morning, it was completely back to normal. After having it carefully inspected, my father-in-law shook his head and sent me on my way. I guess that answered my question rather dramatically!
May we always be willing to relinquish ourselves to HIS will!
I am totally at a loss for words here, I can not even fathom such an experience --but wanted to say I love the poem it really touched my heart.
[i]Gracie's mouth is open and her jaw is on the floor.[/i]
You know, as I re-read this, I recalled this was not the first time I'd written something about this incident. About two years after this happened, I wrote a song about this...while vacuuming a bank. That's right, I was vacuuming. Let's see, that was in late 1982 or early 1983. I forget exactly when but that's about the right time give or take a bit.
Anyways, I'd been married for about a year. My husband and I had graduated from college. I had a degree in teaching and he had a degree in religious studies. We moved from Tennessee to my hometown of Minneapolis. What I didn't know at the time was that schools were closing all over the Twin Cities. They weren't only closing them, they were tearing them down. I couldn't even get a job subbing let alone any other type of full time job. The same was true for my husband. So...we took on two part time jobs cleaning offices and praised God He provided for us...even if we were taking out trash, dumping ash trays and scrubbing toilets! We had to keep moving to get everything in 8 hours and would race between our buildings which were located in both St. Paul and Minneapolis. The nights were long and the pay was poor but God provided.
One night, while I was vacuuming one of the banks, this song came to mind about the event I wrote above. Let's see, here's part of it. It's pretty rough. It went like this...
I Will Deliver Thee
Riding on the rapids of life,
I thought I had total control,
Suddenly, I fell down
From my pedestal.
Entangled by my fears
I couldn't find
A single way out,
Then your still small voice spoke out to me.
Lift up your hands, My child.
I will set you free.
Drive away your fears and doubts
And give you victory.
Just put your faith, and trust,
In my nail-scarred hands,
Lift up your hands to to me my child,
I will deliver thee.
It's beautiful, I'm so thankful for the trials that we go through and come to see God in them. Thank you for sharing this.
Your blogs have such a way of touching my heart. They are some of my favorites. Thank you for writing, and thank you for being so true.
Thankyou K, for these very moving accounts in your blog, and your comment. They are very inspiring and so full of the Faithfulness of God. Praise His Name.