I was suddenly aware of noise around all around me. The faces of people who seemed familiar faded in and out. Why were they here? Wait, those voices. I had heard them before. I detected a booming voice but then a soft but strong and firm voice. Donna. That was the voice of my friend Donna. Why was Donna here and what was she doing? I tried to concentrate, hold onto the memory but it was slipping away.
There it was again. Donna was slipping something over my wrist. I tried to focus but everything spun into a myriad of color and noises before being enveloped into darkness and silence once again. Wait! There was something there again. Something shiny and bright. I struggled to take a closer look at it because somehow I knew this was something important.
There was something etched on it and suddenly I realized I needed to read those etchings. Read? What was that? Yet I was irresistably drawn to focus on these tiny scratches.
I struggled once again against a backdrop of meaningless noise to decipher what these scratches meant. There. I felt my hand gently grabbed and something was being slipped over it and as that happened, the meaningless object, now on my wrist, came into view and I read these words:
"Trust in the LORD." Prov. 3:5"
Like a drowning who had been thrown a life preserver, I clung to those words, even as the thought came to me, "At least I can still read." I had no idea why I thought I wouldn't be able to read and indeed even as I thought the words on my wrist once again, the "nothingness" began to envelop me once again.
"I am getting better now" was my last thought but I didn't even know I was in the hospital because I had suffered a cerebral subarachnoid hemorrhage. I just knew these words, "Trust in the LORD." and so I did. I simply did.
I would later learn that shortly after I had gone to sleep on Thursday, December 10, 2009, a cerebral aneurysm would rupture and it is only by the intervention of God that I survived. As near as we can tell, I began to retain some accurate short term memories on December 17, one week later but if you asked me, I would give a different answer. I would tell you that on Wednesday evening, December 16th, my friend Donna and her husband came to the hospital to see me. Donna gave me a beaded bracelet with a little heart attached to it that said, "Trust in the LORD" Prov. 3:5. She slipped the bracelet onto my wrist and when she did so I read the words and began to get better to the point that by the next morning, I was beginning to retain more and more memories. My family and friends discovered this because after my short-term memory improved, I began to tell them that my recovery began when I read the verse on the bracelet. Here's the problem with my story. I did not receive the bracelet on December 16th. I received it on December 11th when I was in ICU.
Prior to being released from the hospital just before Christmas, a man with a large entourage marched into my room. He informed me that though he knew I did not remember him, we had met before. He was my neurosurgeon. He turned to the group of doctors behind him and introduced me by telling them that they were witnessing a miracle. He proceeded to tell them about my case which I was hearing about for the first time. He described how my physical reaction to the rupture was a textbook example of what should happen but usually does not. He explained to them that the rupture had occurred while I was asleep and as near as they could tell, there had been none of the warning signs that can often precede such a rupture.
He said something else that caught my attention. He was amazed at the speed of the "clean-up" of blood in my head. It wasn't instantaneous but it had proceeded much faster than expected. He finished by saying, "You are witnessing a miracle."
I believe that I was correct in saying that my healing began when I read Proverbs 3:5. I was still in ICU, I still could not maintain my short-term memory but through the "nothingness", in my physical brokeness, God proclaimed His Word and I unconsciously clung to it without even knowing why. The Word of God reaches the unreachable and we must never forget that.
I would leave the hospital 12 days after the rupture and return home. Yes, I do have some residual effects which might cause some people to say I was not healed but I vehemently disagree. You see, those are the very things that propelled me into a new and deeper relationship with God. I have learned more from them than anything else over the course of my lifetime and they have definitely molded me into who I am today. In a strange sort of way, I am thankful for them as they serve to constantly remind me of my frailty and my utter dependance on God to even make it through the day.
It is my prayer that you take at least two things away from this blog. First of all, understand that the Word of God really is more powerful than you can ever imagine. Secondly, never forget that God is a work in your life. He may leave some scars or thorns for us to deal with but when He does, He has a purpose for doing so.
Trust in the LORD!
Your testimony is so inspiring much like what Joni Eareckson Tada says, "I would rather be in this wheelchair today and know Him (45 years), than not be and not know Him."
Blessings in Christ,