There is a memory tucked away within me that is so profound that whenever I think about it, I find myself sitting there recalling it for a long time and I am often moved to tears. An intense longing fills my heart and though the memory is so precious and sweet, it also causes my heart to ache.
I don't think most of us realize how noisy it is inside of our heads. Our brains hum with activity. Messages go back and forth at lightening speed between the brain and the rest of the our body. Though we are usually unaware of it, we are constantly bombarded with stimuli both internally and externally and the information is processed and and action (or reaction) takes place even if the stimuli is ignored.
I will never forget the moment when I became aware that my brain had fallen silent and my body lay there operating on auto-pilot. It was like my head was suddenly vacated and everything was dark and still, very still and I was merely an observer of what I have since called "The Nothingness".
Though I have, in times past, attempted to describe it, words are inadequate to describe what took place when God suddenly stepped into "The Nothingness". No, it was as if He ripped "The Nothingness" apart; it crumbled before Him as the Breath of God flowed over me breathing, "I am with you."
Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel, which is translated, God with us. Matthew 1:23
We are not alone.
"No, it was as if He ripped "The Nothingness" apart; it crumbled before Him as the Breath of God flowed over me breathing, "I am with you."
"Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel, which is translated, God with us. Matthew 1:23"
[b]"We are not alone."[/b]
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!
My mother had this feeling when she was in an ambulance on her way to hospital after an accident that nearly took her life. As the beeps on the monitors slowed down and the paramedic beside her shouted to the driver that they needed to hurry, she felt that peace. She was thereafter called to preach.
I felt it myself when, after almost a week of being very unwell and unable to sleep, I was desperate and distraught, so called out to God to take my life away ... but instead was filled with the Holy Spirit. I was warm, peaceful; my soul was comforted and at last I felt that if I had nothing else, but was loved by the Lord, it was a more wonderful blessing than anything the world could give me. Finally, the secret to true happiness! "My" life was not "mine" at all, but a gift from the Lord, to be dedicated to him.
At that moment my mother, well known for her God-incidental timings with these things, called me. She read to me the words from Romans 8:26: "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." - God was with me and, when nobody and nothing else could help, he and he alone had saved me from illness and despair. He gave to his beloved sleep, even though I had done nothing special to be beloved of him. Ah, that peace. Each time I think of it I want to cry in gratitude, like you have said at the beginning of your blog
Thank you for sharing this memory K Praise the Lord for these experiences that show he is with us even when nobody else can be, in our greatest need!
[quote]God was with me and, when nobody and nothing else could help, he and he alone had saved me from illness and despair. [/quote]
He reaches us when we are beyond the reach of any human hands.
Though I do not remember the rupture itself and indeed, remember very little of the next six or seven days except for a couple of brief incidents like what I described, I remember how difficult it was for me to lie down in my own bed to go to sleep at night. Sometimes, I would stand there for quite awhile. Why? Because that was where it happened. I had been asleep in my own bed and then without warning...
It is the same thing that happens when I have cancer screenings or see my oncologist. Things have become much better but without warning, I can suddenly start to have a reaction. I have learned that in those moments, I simply need to call out to God and remember where I am. He is with me and I am safe.
This does not mean, I will never be harmed physically or die. God has not promised us that and indeed, until God says otherwise, we will all face death. What it does mean is that even if our body perishes...we are safe.
It is so noisy in my head most of the time! Sometimes I cannot stand it! This was a blessing to read just now! Especially going through a hard time lately, I'm reminded that I am not alone! I clung to God the past few days and He was there. Also knowing I have all of you at CB helps me!
And as I grabbed my Bible to help me a couple days ago I read that exact same scripture! I am blessed! I just need to get through the noise and remember.