I almost missed the past seven years. There has been a lot of heartache over the past seven years. In some respects, I am no longer who I was and there are times that makes me very sad and even lonely. Sometimes I miss "me" and even get angry at who I have become. Then I remind myself, it is not my fault and deep down inside I am still "me".
The past seven years seem to have been filled with endless doctor visits, evaluations, forms to fill out, tests to take and so forth. It has been a time of job loss, not just for me but my husband. It was during this time that my son married... and divorced. Death has taken loved ones as well as friends. The past seven years have been years of heartache and uncertainty. I would not have minded missing those things.
Ironically, they have also been seven years of great blessing. I have come to understand my utter need for God. He is the very Giver of Life. He sustains me and He keeps me. Never in my life have I so clearly seen God at work in my life, not just spiritually but physically and emotionally as well.
These past seven years, I watched my son's world get ripped apart but I also got to watch God create beauty from the ashes. I have had the joy of seeing three "honorary" grandchildren born (the children of a friend of ours who call me Nana) and most recently, the birth of my first natural grandchild. I almost missed these blessings as well as so many others. I almost missed them.
Seven years ago this evening, I logged off of CB and went to bed. About 30 minutes later, I was dying in my own bed. Shortly after falling asleep, with no advanced warning, a cerebral aneurysm ruptured and I was fighting for my life, though I didn't even know it.
People who have cerebral aneurysms rupture while they are asleep seldom live to tell about it. I can only say that looking back upon the events of that evening, it is very clear that God was setting the stage for my survival. I cannot telll you why. Only God knows why He decreed that I should not die that night and live these past seven years.
What I do know is I do not take life lightly anymore. Many of my peers complain about getting older. I do not. God has given me the gift of life and I do not take that lightly. Yes, these past seven years have definitely not been the easiest nor the happiest years of my life. In fact, they have been the most painful and difficult years I have ever experienced to date. Still, I know that God has a reason, a purpose for having me live these past seven years. So tonight I am taking time to thank God, for life.
Your testimony is always a blessing, a marvelous reminder of just How Great God IS!
CB is the best place to be online. There is simply no other place with such a myriad of wonderful people, blessings, blogs, and fellowship. I'm grateful, K, that God has allowed my path to cross with your's and so many wonderful people here.