The Pink Cap--A Lesson In Friendship
On my first day of high school, I asked God to send me a Christian friend whom I could trust. My inner-city junior high school had been a terrible, dangerous place filled with anger and fear. God answered my prayer the moment I walked into my first class.
Over the next three years, we laughed together, cried together and prayed together. She was there for me when my dad was diagnosed with cancer and she was there for me when he passed away shortly after the beginning of our senior year. She was the maid of honor at my wedding. Then life got in the way as it sometimes does and over time we lost touch with each other.
A few years ago, we got back in touch just a few weeks before her husband was in a terrible accident which crushed both of his legs. God's timing was good. This time she needed me. Once again we joined hands and prayed together. We rejoiced together as we watched God work miracles. Her husband survived and the doctors were left scratching their heads as they watched him do things they said he'd never be able to do again.
When I got cancer, my friend was there for me. She has gone with me to chemotherapy. She has taken me places when I can't drive due to my meds. She makes sure I don't forget to laugh. Since I'm home during the day right now, she takes me to the Thursday morning women's Bible study at her church. All of these are wonderful things, however, there is one more very important thing she did for me. She made me a cap. A cap? What's so special about a cap?
Last week, I arrived at my friend's home and she told me she had a surprise for me. She went into her bedroom and brought out a little pink cap made of very soft knit material with a lovely pink and silver scarf tied around it. I was delighted. It felt so good on my tender scalp! Then my friend went back into her room and brought out an identical cap and put it on. Tears filled my eyes. We were going to go to the Bible study in matching hats.
"I tried to find some really soft material for your cap." she told me. "I remembered that you mentioned that your head had been feeling very tender and sore." I smiled and told her how good the soft material felt. Then we headed off to her church and modeled our new caps before our Bible study began.
This gift of love tells me a few things about my friend:
My friend recognized that I had a need. While a lot of men wear very short hair or have very little if any hair, most women have had their heads fairly well covered all of their lives. This means our scalps are extremely sensitive when exposed. We don't just cover out scalps for ascetics. We really do need to protect them.
My friend really listens to me. She was very aware of the pain I was experiencing. Once she was aware of it, she looked for a way to help relieve or at least diminish my pain.
My friend wanted to be identified with me. When people saw us with the same caps, they knew we were connected in some way. While she can't do the cancer treatment for me, she was making a statement that she is supporting me and walking beside me during this struggle in my life.
My friend was willing to take time for me. She's a busy wife and mother. She has five children ranging from ages 6-17. It would have been easier for her to just quickly buy a cap. However, she took the time to make me one instead.
As I wear my pink cap, I have to ask myself these questions. Do I recognize the needs of my friends? Am I really listening to what they say or am I thinking about myself and what I'm going to say or do? Do I want to be identified with my friends all of the time or just some of the time? Am I willing to make time in my busy life for my friends?
I have to admit my answers aren't yes as often as I'd like them to be. The good news is God is not finished with me yet and if I am willing He can make me be the kind of friend He desires me to be...the kind of friend He is to me!
A friend loveth at all times, Proverbs 17:17a
I am wearing a pink cap in spirit with y'all.
Thank you for reminding us that true friendship is modeled after the love of Jesus.