Recently I got reacquainted with a friend whom I had not seen in more than 37 years. I got together with her once again this evening and she shared with me a very sad situation that involved her niece who I actually met when she was just a toddler.
My friend's brother had done something that utterly destroyed his marriage a few years ago. While his son certainly was hurt and angry about what his father did, he has been able to recognize that we all are capable of doing horrible, stupid things and what has happened, happened. It is time to rebuild as best you can.
The daughter on the other hand has held onto what her father did as if it was her most precious possession. As a result, what was a terrible wound has grown and festered so much more hurting not only the guilty but the innocent. The daughter has completely cut herself off from her father's family nursing her unforgiveness.
A dying grandmother was denied the joy of seeing her granddaughter one last time and the granddaughter refused to go to the funeral. A father grieves over his lost daughter as do aunts, uncles and cousins. Her grudge, her unforgiveness, has transformed her into a bitter, angry woman who insists that her misery is the fault of someone else. She can't see that daily she is cutting herself with self-inflicted wounds simply because she will not forgive.
Forgiveness does not mean you forget nor does it mean that you foolishly put yourself in a position to be hurt again. What it does mean is what David cried out in Psalm 51. You recognize that ultimately our sin is first and foremost against God and God alone is judge. When Jesus said we must forgive or God will not forgive us, He meant it. Forgiveness is not optional. We must forgive and we need to understand that forgiveness is not just for the benefit of the forgiven, it is for the benefit of the forgiver. Everyone of us have seen what happens to a person who nurses unforgiveness. We have also seen what happens to the person who chooses to forgive.
We must remember that we who were guilty were forgiven by God therefore we have no right to withhold forgiveness. We must also remember that there is only one way to heal a wound inflicted by others and the medicine that must be applied is called forgiveness.
So sad, for the person who does not forgive does more harm to themselves than they intent, for the sad illusion is that such actions do not really effect the guilty person.
Forgiveness is a strange being. At times it comes naturally and at other times it has to be something we work towards .
As we know not all thing are easily forgiven, and in such days as those we need to daily come to God in prayer and ask him to help us this day to forgive a little bit today. Eventually we waken up and realise we have completed the forgiveness journey.
It is then that we start our healing process. That too can be a life journey
Excellent blog and reminds me of the old saying. "Forgiveness is not for other but ourselves." Or the negative, "Unforgiveness is like taking rat poison and expecting it to hurt the other person."
I like you have had to ask the Lord to help me become willing to be willing first to forgive (needed Him to change my heart to His)
Blessing in Him,