The other day I stumbled across an old blog of mine entitled But I Tried So Hard which was written back on February 24, 2009. Interestingly enough, a friend and I had just been talking about that particular topic and so I thought I would address it again.
You feel the inspiration of the Holy Spirit upon you as you write that blog, preach that message, teach that lesson, sing that song or work on any other project God has laid upon your heart. You've sought God about it. You feel the passion and you are already blown away and rejoicing that truly God is going to do something great and then...it's like a firecracker that fizzled out before it even had a chance to take off. What happened?
Have you ever had that experience? You seem to be able to clearly see exactly what God is going to do and how He is going to do it. In fact, you've even written it up a script for Him in case He has forgotten some little detail. As God passes by, you thrust out your double-spaced and carefully typed and beautifully bound script with the large font (to make sure God can read it) and... God ignores it. When will we ever learn... God doesn't follow us; we follow Him!
When I was 16 years old, I watched my father become a new creation in Christ just before his final surgery. Over the next three weeks, cancer and massive infection ate away at his body until he weighed less than 80 pounds at the time of his death and his skin was yellowed by jaundice. Despite this, no one could pass through the doors of his hospital room without hearing the Good News. No one. He made sure of that, even as he lay dying. Yet at the time of his death there were a few Christians who wondered if he really had come to Christ because... he wasn't healed. He died.
Although he didn't know it at the time, my dad was teaching me the greatest lesson he had ever taught me. It was a lesson I have remembered during the toughest times of my life. I have remembered the lesson when I have been lonely, when I have been afraid when I have been in need and when I have been heart-broken. This lesson has carried me through cancer treatment and it was about the only thing I could grasp a hold of as I battled for my life last December...
C-17°|F1° I am not a victim of my circumstances; I am a VICTOR over them through Jesus Christ!
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.
We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 (NLT)
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.
For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.
For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NLT)
K.. i dont know what to say coz its just been one of them days.. but Thanks for this blog! i really do mean it. thanks for putting my day back into perspective. I am not a victim of my circumstances; I am a VICTOR over them through Jesus Christ! Amen!
Love ya dearly!
Excellent message here K
Yes, God heals...but often He heals the broken heart, takes the bond soul and sets it free, allows the body to die, yet gives the person eternal life. He does often heal the body, though He deserves praise even if He doesn't.
I like what you said about your dad not focusing on the cancer or the fact he was about to die...he focused on Jesus and telling everyone about Jesus and salvation through Him. Praise the Lord...your dad was and is a blessing to Him.
I absolutely agree with Ted here! Your dad was not just healed, but healed eternally!! How exciting is that!
And how dare those people judge his soul... they will have to answer for that one day! We know that God's ways are beyond what we can comprehend, and it is obvious to me that the people that said he didn't find salvation don't get that!
Thank you so much for your heart, K! Oh, and that is my absolute favorite praise song of ALL time!! I'm trading my sorrows for Your joy, Lord, the source of all strength! Amen!
Who am I to speak of another's heart and soul - God is the searcher and knower of hearts and souls in Him is healing, understanding, and peace. While I lay in this bed dieing or sit in my chair with wheels or walk with aid of crutches or speak with hands and see with touch let Christ shine forth from this heart and soul that you too may know the peace I have in this broken body of dust.
Praise the Lord.