When We Fail To Do Our Job

I want to start out this blog by making it very clear that I am blessed to know some incredible brothers in Christ. I am so thankful for them. Often God has used them to teach me and set me straight when my emotions take over and without looking where I am going I start zooming off in the wrong direction. I know first hand what it is to have brothers in Christ physically come up along side me and say, "We've got you covered" and suddenly feel very strong and protected. I am very thankful for godly men.

I do want to write about what I consider to be a very serious problem within the Church as well as within the world. Men and women neglecting the roles God designed them for. The purpose of this blog is not to debate whether or not women should be ministers or even whether or not they should speak in Church. People have strong opinions about these matters and it is not my job to attempt to change their minds about it. That is an issue for one to take up with the Holy Spirit on your own. If He wants you to do something, do it. If He doesn't want you to do it, don't do it. It's simple. Just listen and be obedient.

When I first joined this site, there was a young woman who wrote a blog strongly criticizing women in the ministry. Regardless of one's views on it, I felt it was important to share a situation I know of. My mom's best friend is a single woman who has labored for nearly 30 years in a community on an Indian reservation in South Dakota. It has not been an easy task. So why does she stay? Well, in addition to having a heart for the people, the plain and simple truth is her denomination tried and tried to get a male pastor to go out there but not one of them were willing to go. So... my mom's friend went and she has stayed there ever since.

The response of this young woman after hearing that story was "It would have been better for no one to go rather than for a woman to go."

I find that heartbreaking. I find it heartbreaking that no man would go to this difficult area but then I found it equally heartbreaking that someone would say that it would have been better for NO ONE to go!

I think there have been times innumerable when women took leadership roles when they should not have done so whether it is in the household or the Church. This has happened since Genesis. Society and the Church suffer for it tremendously. And yet, at the same time, the blame cannot entirely be placed upon women. Many men have failed to be leaders in their homes, communities and churches as well. When this has occurred, desperate wives, mothers, sisters and daughters have found themselves thrust in positions were not "designed" for and yet, what choice did they have?

What we as women in the Body of Christ need to do is pray for our men, far more than we do. We need to pray that God helps them and gives them the courage to step out and do the things He has called them to do.

Men, we women need to see you seeking God. When we know you are doing this, we become more confident and secure in the decisions you make.

There is something else though. We need you to be leaders. You see, if you are not going to lead your household... someone else will. Sometimes it will be a reluctant wife who is at her wit's end because you won't lead. Sometimes it will be an "independent" wife who is trying to see how far you will allow her to push you or even a rebellious wife. Sometimes it will be your in-law's, your parents, siblings or even her best friend... or yours. Women in our society are crying out for men who will lead their households.

God made us male and female, equipping us with different strengths and abilities. When we function the way God designed us, there is peace within our homes. Our churches are strengthened and society changes. When we don't, there are broken homes, weak struggling churches and society changes for the worse. May we all do our job.


K :princess:

Joyce Bethy Ferguson @bethy ·

Got to be honest here K.. this blog needs to be shouted from the pulpit of every church .

i was just lamenting this very topic with our pastor's wife yesterday. We were just saying how the men in my local church are totally unwilling to take on the role of leadership. I am the sunday school superintendent but I have prayed for a Godly man to come foward and offer to do the job instead. every year I ask, every year no one offers.

The role model that our young boys have in church is of men who are unwilling to step up and do the jobs God called them to do. So we raise another generation of men who follow the example of the men who have gone before.
And then we wonder why there is spiritual discontent in our local church?

Better stop before I rant too much.

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret ·

this is a very informative blog. But... 'the drillsgt in me will approach it with compassion ans sensitivity.There is a saying about"walking a mile in another man's shoes. We can only walk the same path.What i'm about to say in the hopes of showing another side of the story.when do we show love compassion and sensitivity and some respect to men who grow up in single parent homes. there might of been little to no balance of male leadership and positive influence. For those that know me, i blog about dealing with and overcoming those struggles by the grace of God.It's not my place to look down on those who, dont go to church or have relationship with God or even being a Christian. I respect you bringing up this topic but from where i sit, it's easy to say"how and why. nuff said... be blessed and keep on speaking your heart and mind thats how we all grow.

Billy Beard @billyb ·

K :princess: I believe your last paragraph says it all, really. One of the first things heard in a topic such as this, is that times and customs have changed. Yes, they have. But God's word has not and will not change. So, how did everything get changed? I believe the answer is obvious. Mankind makes reasonably intelligent reasons for change, and so they just keep changing. Most see all the technological advancements, and we reason that God's ways, and God's word, is just not applicable today. It must mean something else, in this and that, and so we start theorizing about words and meanings.

This is a topic that one can discuss and reason a lot. When it is all over, I believe your last paragraph still says it all. As for scripture, the greek used for 'servant' in Rom. 16:1, regarding Phe'be, is the same word used for deacon, that is just a fact. In Acts, Phillip had four daughters, virgins, which did 'prophesy'. Prominent women were alongside Jesus and the disciples, and as you point out, the first to witness His resurrection. (Well, the guards were men most likely). And also prominent women were workers alongside the apostles in the church in Acts. To say that Priscilla was a pastor however, distorts scripture, scripture does not say that. Yes, they had church in their house.

There are churches on both sides of this issue. Families and couples, need to find one they are in agreement with. If this issue is important to them, then they should seek a church that they would be in agreement in regarding. I doubt very seriously that one sect is going to make the others sect change how they view the issue. A congregation that goes along with each individuals interpretations, in every thing, does NOT exist. And I better stop like Bethy did.

Albert Bunyea @bubbavela ·


i know this may sound harsh, but God say's call no one your teacher. i remember the first one to welcome me back into God's kingdom was a lil Asian women who knew the scriptures better than most pastors and preachers. yet she stressed how important it was for me to build my own relationship with God for His answers to my questions. i will never forget how important she was in showing me how to find the truth in His book. i'm clear that my body being a temple means that my worship of Him is done in my spirit, therefore i allow my Spirit to guide me to His words and let me just say i give no one other than God authority over me. but i would also like to add that during my reincarnation into our Lord's word while my inspiration was guided by this women, her husband was my best friend at the time. there were times when it did strain my relationship with my friend when i would spend so much time in conversation with his wife. in the end i felt like he understood the desires that drove me to her for understanding was given by God. to me i believe this sentence

"I find that heartbreaking. I find it heartbreaking that no man would go to this difficult area but then I found it equally heartbreaking that someone would say that it would have been better for NO ONE to go!"

is the bottom line because without this women's efforts i may have never found the right path to Jesus. i Praise God for my friend's wife and all of the moments she spent helping me to understand why Jesus loves me when in my mind it look like the opposite was true. Kaye, again i would like to say when it comes to whether or not you should share the Love of God with whom ever He puts in front of you i say, let no man be your teacher, instead let the Spirit we all call Holy do so!

be the Blessing God ask you to be,

K Reynolds @kreynolds ·

Actually, the only Gospel which mentions the guards in the account of the resurrection is Matthew. It says that when the earthquake came and the stone was rolled away. At that point, it says the guards shook and became as dead men. Then the angel speaks to the women, told them not to be afraid, told them Jesus was risen, invited them to come and see the empty tomb and told the women to go and share the good news. On their way to do his bidding they meet Jesus who repeats the command. (Matthew 28:2-10) However, like I said, that is not the point of this blog.

The point I was trying to make was that within the Church both men and women have been guilty of not doing things according to God's plan. We cannot point the finger at just men and we cannot point the finger at just women.

In all fairness though, with leadership comes responsibility. If men are to be leaders in the church as well as in their homes... they need to be leaders. Too often the men within the Church have confused leadership with dictatorship and that's not right either. There is a difference!

Across America, we are seeing the sad results of what happens when men do not take responsibility for their families. There is chaos. Women get thrust into roles they weren't designed to do. Sons do not have fathers to set an example for them on how to be a man and not a "boy". Daughters wander about desperately seeking a "father" who will love and protect them and often end up with an abusive man who simply wants to use them, throw them away and move on.

As a woman I am crying out to men in the Church to stop and listen for a moment! I realize that many of you have had horrible examples of what it means to be a man, a husband and a father or no example at all! However, recognizing that it is time to ask God to teach you how to lead, how to be a husband, a father and a brother. And He will do the same for women, teaching them their role as well.


K :princess: