When trouble or tragedy touches our lives, we are faced with two choices. Will we run to God and allow Him to hold us and heal our wounds or will we push him away in anger and bitterness?
God is God but He will not force us to cling to Him for love cannot be forced. Instead He weeps for us and with us. He holds His arms open wide for us and if we will but step into them we will find love, peace, comfort, strength and even a sense of joy that we are loved and not alone.
While I was undergoing chemo, I read Psalm 18 over and over and over again. Each infusion made me feel like I was dying and indeed, I had to be closely monitored and given a powerful drug to try to quickly rebuild my immune system exactly 24 hours after my infusions. Psalm 18 seemed to be a very good description of what I was experiencing at the time.
Ironically, some time later, I went to see The Dead Sea Scroll exhibit in St. Paul and one of the fragments was a portion of Psalm 18. I remember standing there in the semi-darkness of the room, staring at the fragment in the lit display case and then turning my eyes to the translation on the wall. Tears quietly streamed down my face as I realized the precious words which had been copied onto that fragment of a scroll so very long ago. Words that had reached down through the ages to a bald woman with powerful drugs being infused into her chest.
They are words of hope which I carry inscribed in my heart. There is no darkness too great, there is no pit too deep for God to penetrate! It may seem like it at the time. Oh, it may seem like it when the pain and the hurt is so great that all we want to do is curl up in a ball and die! To uncurl ourselves is painful, so very painful and yet that is exactly what we must do. As painful as it is, we must force ourselves to turn to God and run into His arms and remember that some way, some how, God will turn our darkness into light.
I would wish that I knew forty years ago the things that I understand now but many are the lessons that have only lbeen earned through hardship and pain. Having said that, the joys have become much, much greater :D