Disappointment is described as "the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations". (Macmillan, 2016) I felt a need to write about disappointment today. Disappointment surrounds us daily, we can be disappointed in our children, or our spouse, our job, our life... ... .. I could go on and on, and most days I am guilty of feeling disappointed about something. Most often by things, events, and outcomes that are beyond my control. I waste a lot of energy focusing on the things I cannot change. When my kids come to me with this overcast feeling of disappointment I tell them that it will all be okay, that they may feel sad now but that sadness will subside and the events eventually become life lessons they can look back upon and grow from. If the disappointment is caused by their own actions, (a bad grade because they didn't study) they surely can use this disappointing moment to build upon. These self-induced disappointmentsare easier to understand if we are the kind of person who accepts responsibility for our actions; but the disappointments that are caused by people or events that are beyond our control are the ones that are most difficult to grasp, to accept.But maybe, probably, these disappointments, these events that cause sadness and displeasure are really MENT to happen for reasons that are completely unknown to us. Maybe God is trying to change our mindset, our hopes and expectations .
As mothers, we watch our babies grow in to toddlers, then children, and then teenagers (that's as far as I have gotten). And we watch them be disappointed by others and by their own actions. I always, always, want to step in, to protect. I desperately want to be the helicopter parent that comes and rescues them because when their heart breaks so does mine. But these lessons they are learning, are hemmed into the patchwork of the person God is sewing them into. It's inaccurate to say that I have never stepped in, but most times I sit on the bench cheering them on. Or on the sideline giving them a pep talk, telling them this is just a minor stepping stone, a needed event to get to the top of the proverbial mountain of life. I'm there telling them that sometimes life stinks, it really stinks! And it's okay to be sad, to feel that displeasure and disappointment, but we cannot let disappointments take us down. There may be times when we need to make adjustments to our hopes and expectations. Maybe,sometimes, we must realize that hopes we havefor our life are not those that God has chosen for us. I talk to parents who are disappointed by events and situations that would bring me joy. I see the world bickering on social media about the recent presidential election and I can't wrap my head around the severe disappointment some people are feeling about something that is so beyond their control. I think the key to this whole "disappointment" thing is to know that in the end, though all the trials, all the disappointments, that ultimately God is in control. He is in control of our lives, our children, our country, if we just let Him, let Him work!
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 (NIV 2016)
Most of my life's disappointments have been minor when I compare my life to others. I've never lost a child, a parent, or a spouse. My health is on the good side of fair. These devastating types of disappointments, physical loss or tragic health diagnosis's, are foreign to me. I still have a difficult time dealing with the hard ones, the ones I can't even begin to grasp, my words are few when I am faced with a mourning parent or spouse because I guess, I'm not sure why these events happen, I only know that God is always there to comfort us. This profound concept of unshaking faith is difficult to express when I am faced with these unfamiliar situations, places I have never been.
I am surrounded by great people, people I truly love and who love me in return. I have a job that makes me happy. I truly feel that in life, I lack nothing and yet, at times, I find the feeling of disappointment filling my heart. I don't think God likes to watch our disappointments, especially over the uncontrollable. I see him looking down and trying to comfort us when we want comfort from no one.I think all parents can attest to this, we watch our babies, our children, our teens learn through what seems like devastating disappointments, but we know these are the circumstances that will ultimately shape their character, it will help transform them in to the people God chooses them to be. And most of the time, when they face this disappointment the last thing they want is comfort from their parent. (At least teenagers) At times, we must sit back as God does, and watch, may insert a comforting word, but we need to let them feel the unmistakable pain of life's disappointments, this life's disappointments, in order to let them grow into people of character. Ultimately, the disappointments we face lead us to a place where we can find and build that unshakable relationship with God.
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops,
What if Your healing comes through tears,
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near,
What if my greatest disappointments,
Or the aching's of this life,
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy,
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise'
Laura Story -Blessings
Disappointment American English definition and synonyms | Macmillan Dictionary. (n.d.). Retrieved November 29, 2016, from
Story, Laura - Blessings (2016)
I remember when I first heard that song a few years ago and I wept because I had experienced that. In fact, I was relating that experience just this morning during a group discussion at a women's group. I shared about my anger, disappointment and grief when God told me that not only would my biopsy come back positive for cancer, it would be aggressive and I would have to go through chemo and radiation. I was so furious that I screamed and screamed and screamed at Him, making demands and God said no. I needed to trust Him...no matter what. When I did, well... I still had to go through the storm but I knew He was with me and when you are "sailing" with Jesus... you always see/experience amazing things.
I think that parents who shield their children from disappointment do them no favours at all . That is why u believe God does not keep us from disappoint but leads us through and and teaches us in the midst of days like those.
I adored this blog , I really did.