Written In My Heart: Playing Church (#2)
At the time I married, I informed my husband-to-be, who had been attending church with me often, I believed in Jesus and wanted to be active in church after we married. He agreed this would be okay. After our wedding, we made our home in the small town where Bill worked for the Green Giant Co. He grew up on a farm near Le Sueur, Minnesota. I grew up in St. Paul, Minnesota.
I made a promise, to God or at least in my mind, to go to church and raise our children as church goers. I made sure to join a church of the same Synod. We have three children. They were raised going to Sunday School and each of them was confirmed. In this church, I attended regularly and served as a Sunday School teacher, as Sunday School superintendent and even for a period of time as a Church Council member. I was active in service groups.
For all of the 26 years of membership in this church, I sensed in my heart, I was not in a right relationship with God. I am certain, it was the Holy Spirit reminding me of this. I kept saying, I must get right with God before I die. Did I even understood what this meant, to be in a right relationship with God?
My son, who found the Lord and became a believer, tried to point out in his humble way the shortcomings of this church. Throughout the years, I felt it was too social and not spiritual. It was not like what I had experienced in the church where I was confirmed, was active in Luther League, sang in the choir and where my wedding ceremony was held.
I want to state that I do not believe I grew spiritually at all in this church. After my youngest daughter finished high school and went off to college, I decided to leave this church. My intention was to look for what I needed spiritually. Well, for about seven years, I did not search for aother church nor did I attend church.
One major point I want to make in this writing is that many people play church and are not in a right relationship with God. They are searching and know something is missing. I cannot answer the question with 100% certainty as to whether or not during all these years I was saved. But, I can say with great confidence that I am now saved and I belong to Jesus Christ.
What happens at the end of these seven years is what I am leading up to. We are going to talk about God steps into bringing a person into a right relationship with Him. The very steps He uses to enable a person to become born again in Jesus Christ. Next writing and the first step: God Called Out My Name.
Personal Testimony of
Dorothy von Lehe