above my circumstance its you i worship
So, it was Sunday morning 6:23am to be exact and im awake laying in bed when next minute I hear a hard knock on my door followed by a grumpy old voice telling me to "shut up or go outside". Yep, it my was my mother!

Now, most people know I sleep in til at least 9ish. Church is at 10:27, so I quickly get up, grab a shower, get some breakie and am out the door by 10 at the latest. However, this Sunday morning was different.

On the Saturday night, my pastor had called me in a panic and explained that our worship leaders were not able to make it on the Sunday due too illnesses and being out of town. He was looking for someone to step up and fill their spot essentially. Now, one of my biggest pitfalls in life is if someone asks me to do something, I have trouble saying no- even if this means going outside of my comfort zone. So, me being me simply agreed, not really knowing what lay ahead. Ive lead worship once, but that was back in my old church and there were 5 or 6 other singers up there so it wasn’t so big an issue.

Anyway, back to the story. There I was laying in bed and going through all the songs that we were doing today, when I heard this voice tell me I cant do it anymore, why would God want to use me when I have depression, How can a girl like me possibly lead worship with a story like mine and that I was no good at it and I should give up before I get there so I don’t make a fool out of myself. I started to believe it. Satan had me in a place he wanted me to be in. So, I pulled my phone out and began to text my pastor which went something like this "Josh, Im really sorry, but ive woken up with a ‘sore throat’, Im not sure I will be able to sing today" and off I sent it. I was feeling so bad coz I pulled out and I knew I was going to be leaving my church in the lurch real bad. I sat at the end of my bed think what the heck have I just done. About 10 mins later, I hear my phone going off. Now I must say, my ring tone at the moment is a song from a group here in Aus and they sing,

"today I pick up my cross and cast distractions, no compromise in my heart. Call me a child of god, for I have counted the cost, my soul set free with the price"

then it goes on to say

"Above my circumstance its you I worship, my life surrendered in the mercy of your love, nothing can be compared to this I now know, You spoke the universe into existence"

The real cruncher for me was "above MY circumstance its YOU I worship" I didn’t even have to answer my phone to change my mind. God is far bigger then all our circumstances. He is the one who is worthy of all our praises! I climbed out of bed at about 8, called my pastor back and told him the real deal, and what had happened and how I was feeling and he asked me if I wanted to share this morning with the congregation and sing the song. I agreed and he said "Good, now is Aimee there yet?" I laughed at him and was like "what?"! He said that he had sent someone over to my place to drag me out of bed. I grabbed my breakie and headed for the door where Aimee was of we went.

We pulled up at church and I ran upstairs to the rest of the crew to find that the guy who usually plays drums wasn’t there either! The guys seemed to be uninspired, so I I prayed and asked the Lord to help, and I realised that, when we are weak, He is strong (2 Cor 12:10). I recognized again that this worship leading is not about me, and how I feel, it's about Him! I took a good, long look at myself, and realized that reality is I am only a servant, not a singer, not a guitarist and definitely not a star! I recognized that, despite how I felt and thought that I needed to change my attitude and continue to serve, no matter what the cost.

And then the Lord began to move with great power, firstly in my own heart, and then in the hearts of the singers and musicians. I shared my struggle with them briefly, and we paused to pray together and give the morning to the Lord. Whether we use our hands, feet or voices, all of us primarily use our hearts, and this is the correct attitude to worship leading as a servant.

And so the 10:27 came real quick and worship leading began, and almost from the very first note you could sense the presence of the Lord, and His delight at our change of heart, and at our decision to do our best no matter what we felt at the time. In our weakness, He proved Himself strong, and we were rewarded with a wonderful and very intimate time of worship leading. Its not until we take our eyes off ourselves and put our focuss on Him, that we truly see how awesome He is.

Blessings,
Shani

This is the song i was talking about

 Shani
  I have been a member of ChristianBlog.Com for 9 years, 2 months and 3 days.

  I have published 92 blogs and 267 comments.

 I currently live in: Australia.
Beth+

That's great, Shani! :clap: Great blog! 10:27?? not 10:30, 10:27 blessings, Lovely! what's a breakie?

K Reynolds+

Shani you wrote: In our weakness, He proved Himself strong, and we were rewarded with a wonderful and very intimate time of worship leading. Its not until we take our eyes off ourselves and put our focus on Him, that we truly see how awesome He is. I think this says it all! A cousin of mine would say "We must become "Christ-centered" rather than "self-centered".

Blessings!

K :princess:

Alison Stewart

I am chuffed to bits that God blessed you through your journey to obedience.
I recognized again that this worship leading is not about me, and how I feel, it's about Him!
You have no idea how thrilled I am to hear you say that. Hold fast to that belief my friend, and God will be able to use you mightily.


kbird

Billy Beard

Shani, thanks for sharing part of you with us. You have a great gift of writing, and serving. Now, on a humorous note, dont you be changing that ring tone either! God Bless

Francisco J Zubia

Thank you 'Shani' for sharing sharing this event in your life with us. I hope the Lord brings you to do more greater things like this for him. Be blessed. Amen.

thbg

Benjamin Foulks

How cool, dear Shani! Yep, praise is not about us; it's about how great and wonderful He is. Ans when we are weak, He is strong!

joyce+

I am so very very proud of you shani. You have come so very far in a short space of time and we give God all the glory for that.

Well done darlin, you keep those eyes of yours firmly focused on HIM and he will lead you through every circumstance,,,, even singing on stage.
So glad that "sore throat" went away real quick!!!
:heart: mum

Karen Dunleavy

Beautiful post.

Brittany McLain

Thankyou for your encouraging post. I needed to be reminded that it's not about me but about him. In May I finished my internship as a student teacher and while I haven't yet been hired full time I have been hired as a substitute. I feel very strongly I will be called back into the classroom next week and the enemy keeps bringing up all the hard days I had last year and all the mistakes I made. Telling me I'm not ready to handle a class on my own and that I can't do it. Well, I have decided not to listen if I am going to walk in God's plan for my life (and I feel very strongly he has called me to be a teacher) then I need to learn to trust him and his word. And so the verses I cling to as I return to the classroom are Philippians 4:13 and Joshua 1:9.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13 (KJV)

"Have not I commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

Thanks again, I feel like your post was just what I needed tonight.

Brittany

Ruth Papalii

Yeap! What a buzz Shani well done girl. Guee it shows your Pastor can count on You to get things done when in an emergency like that awesome news, and it is good how? the you changed your mind to be obediant to your Sheperd.

When you please your Sheperd! the Pastor is so happy and so is God happy because you are being obediant yes so you have your Pastor proud of you, plus God Almighty thank you for sharing this with us very touching indeed.

Your sister in Christ.