The journey thus far.
As i look back on my 21 years of life, i cant help but feel that the journey so far, has encountered so much heartbreak and most of the time has left me in a place of uncertainty and disillusionment. Growing up, I lived in a home which opened me up to the world of Domestic Violence and abuse. At 8 years of age, my parents finally divorced and both parents went off in search of a new partner. Whilst the divorce was the best and safest thing they could have done, the betrayal and loss i felt from my father leaving was something that took me quite some time to get over. At 13, I was raped by a man whom was a family friend. This man was twice my age. This opened up my world to a whole new life of drugs, alcohol, depression and the suicidal thoughts. This also just reaffirmed my thoughts and beliefts about myself and that which i had about the male gender.At 17, my step dad had an affair on my mum which sent them both down a spiralling track which put me in a place where i was looking after my little sister, the house and trying to study for my year 12 exams. At 19, I moved out of home because i was in love with a guy. I moved out of home, to another state and for the 9mths i was there, I think its fair to say that he abused my love for him, emotionally and verbally. That same year, i learned that my reproductive system and hormones are pretty well stuffed and that i would be on medication, til that day when God heals me. Be it this life,or the next. (Ofcourse this is just an outline of things that have shaped my life and ive left out 1 or 2 things because im still working on them with my psychologist)

BUT.

Throughout the 21 years,Ive also seem some amazing things! Ive always had a group of friends who would move heaven and earth for me, if need be. For the most of it, Ive always had a roof over my head,dinner on the table and clothes on my back. Ive seen family and friends get married and have children. I have a mum who loves me and will do what she can to help me. I have beautiful siblings whom are my world. Whilst my body is doing what its doing, ive got medication to take and a team of specialists to work with. But the best bit, i have a God who has taken all the crap ive seen and turned it around to create something beautiful in my life and Ive been able to walk alongside girls who are walking where i have been.

Some people say ' If only i could go back to... i wouldnt have done it' and they live a life of regret. Without sounding all cheesey and lame, I wouldnt redo my journey at all. Whilst the hardships ive faced have been exactly that , HARD, i dont count any day as lost. Each day has bought about a new lesson and we can either choose to focus on the ' look how hard my life has been' or we can choose too see the hardships as opportunities to be able to walk alongside and minister to others who are going through what you have been through. Whilst it was not the will of God for me to experience some of these things, I feel He let me go through it all, because He can and Will heal the broken hearts and body if you will let Him.

So, will you?
 Shani
  I have been a member of ChristianBlog.Com for 9 years, 2 months and 5 days.

  I have published 92 blogs and 269 comments.

 I currently live in: Australia.
K Reynolds+

Shani-Girl, tears came to my eyes as I read:

Each day has bought about a new lesson and we can either choose to focus on the ' look how hard my life has been' or we can choose too see the hardships as opportunities to be able to walk alongside and minister to others who are going through what you have been through.

Many years ago as a teenager, I read a book written by a woman named Ethel Barrett. I can't remember the name of the book but I remember one chapter really made an impact on me. It talked about taking those "stumbling blocks" meaning the "challenges" you have whether it be weaknesses, adversity or whatever and transforming them into "stepping stones". I remember taking that just a bit further and thinking that God takes the things which the enemy uses to try to trip us up and transforms them into stepping stones which will draw us closer to Him.

It all depends upon how we look at it. We can either trip over these "stones" and lie there in the path or we lift our hands up to God and He will help us climb up upon them and thus bring us closer to Him.

I read that book about 35 years ago never dreaming that I would need those lessons I learned nearly 30 years later.

Shani, I am smiling right now thinking about how the enemy howls when you take those situations meant to destroy you and turn them into a beautiful testimony of the love, mercy and grace of God.

Blessings!

K :princess:

Billy Beard

The world can be an ugly place. You have made beauty from ashes, shani. You are beautiful. God Bless you for running to Jesus. He is faithful, praise God. God be with you.

joyce+

This is it Honey, we grow in the midst of our storms, even if we are not aware of it at the time. Now you are in that wonderful position where youare starting to impart your wisdom to someone else who is where you once were.
And to help someone else on the raod to recovery... that is one of the greatest and most humbling tasks we can ever perform.

well done kiddo.

Maria Abigail Guevarra

Oh Shani tears

I have been struggling lately and have been asking God to take away all these struggles from me. And of course He could do that. But sometimes, He allows some circumstances in our life in molding us. And though people or the enemy may intend to harm us, God will work on it for our good; for He intends to do good things to us. Thank you for your honesty here. Your testimony is a blessing. You take care out there sis!

Blessings! :)

~Abbie

Siew Ling Lim

Dear Shani,

Thank you for posting this. I am reminded to count my blessings one by one especially when things fall flat. You inspire me, courageous lady!

"Hugs"

Beth+

But the best bit, i have a God who has taken all the crap ive seen and turned it around to create something beautiful in my life and Ive been able to walk alongside girls who are walking where i have been.
Amen, Shani! Amen!

I wouldnt redo my journey at all. Whilst the hardships ive faced have been exactly that , HARD, i dont count any day as lost. Each day has bought about a new lesson and we can either choose to focus on the ' look how hard my life has been' or we can choose too see the hardships as opportunities to be able to walk alongside and minister to others who are going through what you have been through. Whilst it was not the will of God for me to experience some of these things, I feel He let me go through it all, because He can and Will heal the broken hearts and body if you will let Him.
:clap: :clap:

You could not have written this any better. This should be shouted from the mountaintops!
AMEN, Sister!

I send my to you, especially now at the loss of your dear friend :cry: :bearhug: