Dear God in Heaven we want to ask a special request that you bless this blog. Please revise it, change it and if your will we will not even write it. May your name be blessed forever and ever. Amen. Out the blue I decided to fast, I had not planned it. But an edgy attiude, almost hostile had taken its toll. I decided to seek God's face and talk about my walk and sins. I had forgotten that I have to pray that God's name be honored. It's not going to happen on my own stregth by God's grace. My daughter came to visit me from a distant city. She has a needy condition with 3 kids. I was hard enough to fend for my own dignity and now I have to pray for my daugher and that her needs are met. I never felt so worthless. I never felt so poor and wretched and blind and naked. I had forgotten that my God is a God of deliverance. I saw myself all alone in this matter. After an exhausting day of labors and penniless, I was confronted to make demands for what is mine and earned. I had no success. The merciless remains the merciless. My biggest poverty is the one of my own heart. I have the Laodecean Syndrome, outside I look fine but inside I'm the most miserable, wretched person alive. I just don't have a world to dwell in. I have no lasting city. Nothing interest me and nothing comforts me. Materially I can't complain, it's all well. I just worry about my drought in my heart, nothing grows there. I understand many things but have no real peace in my life. I forgot again that I have to pray for growth. I fall asleep thinking that I will change by osmosis. I forget I need to ask God for peace and love in my life. Every time I do remember to pray, love and peace returns to my soul and life. I guess it's pride that we have to ask. I hadn't realized what a proud person I'm really at heart. I'm down to the self presevation level of Ego. I constantly say, what's in it for me today? Innocent or natural but I not relying on God for answers. I forget that the flesh is on its way to perdition. Satan just makes it more difficult by making us more self concious and self centered on about me and about what is mine. It's a real test of faith to remain collective, calm and content. Satan has put it on my mind that I need something. For the first time he's right. I need Jesus. Jesus told the chief of the sinagogue, Jairus, " Do not be afraid, just believe!.." I pray those words go to my heart and turn my day around. May you be blessed and may God have everlasting dominion forever and ever. Amen.
Amen and amen dear brother! My heart is deceitful and decidedly wicked, I need the Lord's strength every day, every moment, every second. Without Him, my flesh takes over and it is all about me. We can look very spiritual and it still is all about me and not glory to the Lord. Thanks brother! Andrea
Thankyou for taking note of my blog. I pray also for you that you too have victory in the battle against the flesh and the 'me...me...me...', what is in it for me? A very difficult battle, but I can still kneel down and pray and that gives me hope and joy. May God shine in all our lives forever and ever...Amen.