I did it... I finally said "Good bye." Today, I had a pressure on my heart to say a final goodbye to my exboyfriend. I realized that holding on to certain things from him weren't helping me and keeping old emails in my email wasn't the way to go. I needed to let go. I need to let go of him. I took a big step and deleted all his emails. I saw the journey we went through pass through my eyes with a simple push of the delete button. I sat there staring at the computer and after deleting his folder I wanted to cry. I felt a lot of pain.. it just rushed over me. I wanted to cry but had no tears. I just knew it needed to be done. I opened a new email and told him goodbye. I told him I would be sending him the stuff he had given to me and that I letting him go. I told him that I hoped he would find someone better for him then I was. I told him I would be praying for him and that he is blessed in whatever he does in his life. I never thought saying goodbye would be so hard but yet so easy. I told the one girl at work what I did and she said that it was good that I did that and was glad I could come to that point. It was over and I am pretty sure for good. At one point I thought that he was the one still... but I know God has a better plan. I meet a really great guy who I have started talking to more and more and I feel really blessed to know him. I am going to do everything in my power to really glorify God with whatever happens. I am not going to rush the process, but just let it happen. I am not going to jump onto every little feeling, but I am going to pray. This guy has really shown me that God has more fish in the sea. But it has also given me hope. We tend to wonder why pain and troubles come to us and why God lets us hurt.. well I can see how good this has been to me. I was telling this new guy when he asked "do you wish you could still be with your ex?"I told him " No, he served a purpose in my life, and I see that I don't need him anymore, he needs someone better then I could ever be. I went through this valley of death and saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I have grown through this and I wouldn't trade this pain for anything. I am done with him, I still love him as my brother, but I love him enough to let him go." To anyone who is in the pain, don't give up on God. He is using this pain for your good and His glory. Don't think that the light of the end of the tunnel isn't there, because it is, even if it is far away. You will get there. I felt free today. I was able to drive with my windows down and my music up. I felt free again. I felt alive again. And I just lifted my hands and praised the Lord.
Oh Amen and amen!! Lift up those hands baby!
but I know God has a better plan I know this must have hurt but I'm so glad to hear you have "let go". You are so right when you say "but I know God has a better plan". One thing I want to say: You might not have been the right girl for Ryan -- but you are as good as he is any day! God will bring you to that perfect match Goldie.
[quote]I told him that I hoped he would find someone better for him than
Sam I have to agree with podle here, you are no worse than anyone else.
I have no idea where you got the idea you were not good enough babe, you may not have been right for each other, but never say you were not good for him.
But sam,,, poo is watching us.. keep one hand on the wheel, cause when she gets mad.... woooow you dont want to be there.
So glad you can finally let go goldie. There is great freedom in release.
I am happy for you, little sister. It is tough to let go of our idea of what is good and right in our lives, especially when we were just CERTAIN of it! Right? I am no stranger to this pain, believe me. But it sounds as if you are on a much better path now, in realizing that as wonderful as it felt with Ryan when it did feel wonderful, that God has something better in mind for you. And I'm with these other sisters in telling you that not only are you good enough, you are His divine daughter. His princess. His perfect, imperfect child. He was lucky to have you, just as the next one will be as well. Don't you forget it, little girl! :wink:
Yes, gf, it is hard to let go, but when we have come to the realization that it's over, it's time to move on. In a blog someone posted some time ago, the writer was relating a breakup, and the counsel of her brother. His advice to the blogger went something like this: "Get yourself so lost in God, that he [the future mate] will have to find God to find you." Wow. That really spoke to me. Be at peace and know that God's ways are higher than ours, His thoughts higher than ours, and His purpose perfect.
One small step, but a huge leap, Goldie.
Believe it or not, one day you'll look back and say, ah! now I see why it had to be that way and oh, am I so happy it happened. And then, believe it or not, one day you'll realize that it's been 20 years since you last thought of him.