Our pastor came over tonight to meet with our family and just get to know us better. He went through my mom and stepdad like they normally do and then turned to me and asked me to share my testimony. (Now this blog is very had for me to right and I am right now writing it with tears..) I went through the whole story of meeting my ex boyfriend who was a member on here too. It was him and his friendship that brought me back to Christ and awakened my soul to God again. He was the one who showed me how important ti was to really read your Bible, to take in context what it said and to be open to God and to live for His glory and not my own. God used him in so many ways. I am so blessed to have know him. We grew together as a couple and individually in Christ. And it was my gift of him that really light me on fire for God. The breakup happened because we both had lost sight of God and needed to get things back where they should be. We needed God as our number one. I didn't understand this when Ryan broke up with me. All I could see was the one love of my life disappearing and leaving me broken hurt and betrayed. The only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life was leaving me. And I couldn't see why. Over the past two months, I have been up and down. I went and saw him and the clarity that brought was hard and painful but needed. As I was telling my pastor all this, crying just as I am now, I saw the severe mercy of God. He knew that this path was just going to lead to distruction. He knew that I needed to be woken up again. He knew that I needed to know that HE needs to be my one love adn He needs to be my everything. He knew that I needed this sevre mercy to happen in my life so I could grow for Him and into the person He wants me to be. As the Proverbs say "Wounds of a friend are faithful.." these wounds from Ryan have been faithful to lead me back to God. He hurt me so bad, but I don't regret it and I am blesssed to have felt this pain. It is something that was nessesary. It was something I would only have trusted him doing. I was blessed to be in a relationship with him for so long. I know that God is molding me now and using it. And I am pleased that He loves me enough to stop me from doing something so wrong and causing a severe mercy so I can see Him again. It is beautiful how much God cares for us. I pray you are blessed.
It is a blessing when we go through painful things that we come to the other side and see God's hand in the pain. I praise God for you dear daughter, I praise God for the purpose that God put Ryan into your life and I praise God for the work He has done in your life. Sometimes we just need to share what is going on and then God brings clarity that we have not had previously and what a blessing that is. I love you and you really touched Jimmy's heart in your sharing, and perhaps even God can use this in his life as well. God is so good!
I agree with Raul, Samantha, you amaze me as well. I praise our Lord for the work he has done in your life at search an early age. Anytime we go through heart ache and pain we move closer to our Lord. He makes us that way. Once we understand that His way is the only way it makes our hardships easier to accept. There is strength in over coming adveristy and our Lord knows this. i am saddened at the same time excited that He has chosen to work so early in your life. When i read your poems i forget how much pain it must have taken to understand our Lord so well. I pray for mercy for you at the same time I benefit from your pain. I have been so touched by you and your enlightenment that i am not be able to express it in any words. My our Lords grace find you quickly with the understanding pain is no longer needed with the yoke of your burdens on our Lord shoulders. Just knowing that our Lord works everything in your life for your benefit makes these setbacks seem minor and insignificant. Yet the truth is in losing a loved one and the one you love so close to each other would be hard for anyone to accept. I praise God that he brought your friend into your life just in time for your heart aches. That fact alone shows the beauty of his work. So now you have so much love to look forward to in your life. You are able to live your life with the understanding that our Lord is guiding you down this path that will lead you to the adventures for your lifetime. i can only hope that you have reached the peace that you desreve.
Your are such an inspiration to so many people that I praise God for you.