(WARNING: BLOG CONTAINS VENTING! LOL) It is 3:30 am, I am sleeping peacefully when all of a sudden I hear banging on the upstairs neighbors door. I live in an old renivated farm house. The woman who owns it rents out the top and the bottom. The way the house is situated, my bed room is right next door to their "mud room" where they come into their place. back to the sotry... the banging on the door continues, then the girl who is banging starts yelling" Krissy!!!!!!!!! Opend the Door!" (I am omitting the cuss words.) She keeps screaming this... I am a little concerned. I go into the bathroom and look out the window to where we part our cars, I see another girl standing there. The girl banging on the door comes around to her, they start talking. They go over to my screened in pourch, lift the girl banging onto it and she breaks into the house through their kitchen window. She goes in opens the front door lets the other girl in and wakes up the sleeping girl. Apparently the girl banging on the door(kristin) had gotten into a bad accident, totaled her car... and she was drunk. Her friend who drove her home came and rescued her. The girl sleeping(Krissy) was supposedly Kristin's best friend and room mate. They all talked for a while. The girl who saved Kristin left and then it got crazy. Cuss words were flying. Kristin was mad because Krissy wasn't there for her. They went to sleep and I did soon after. The next day, Kristin came home with a brand new shinny Acura... You are probably wondering where I am going with this...The girl Kirstin has a father with a lot of money. He is paying for the apartment, and bought here a new car after she wrecked hers. The green eyed moster is a disease I struggle with, its also known as Jealousy...The funny part is I anturally have green eyes! I have been struggling to make is by each month... I ahve rent to pay, a credit card to pay. Two cats that need food, and a car that needs gas. I Praise God for my wonderful boyfriend who is there for me and helps me with money when I am tight. But I see these two girls living the life and not paying for it... They go out and drink and party and have jobs at a horse farm( my dream job), they have different guys over, they LOOK happy. The green eyed monster sees this... But it only sees it. I was reminded last night by my friends from church that they LOOK happy, but they are far from it. They are trying to fill the void of no God in their life. They are miserable deep down inside. So, I prayed and got over it. I am joyful. I have so many blessings... Then the green eyed monster struck again.. this time I can't tell if it is bad or not.. My best friend who lives 5 hours away and me where talking last night... He boyfriend of five months has been talking about getting engaged with her. She talked to her mother and her mom was all for it. Her boyfriend is one of those guys who if its ok with the girl he is going for it.. So, now that she has talked to her mom and is ok with it, they are probably going to get engaged soon. Like I said, tehy have only been together for 5 months... this is her first real relationship. She is not even 18 yet.. He is 19. I always thought that I would get purposed to first, I was going to get married first and now things seem to be moving so fast for her. I am so scarred to tell her that maybe they need to slow down some.. But what can I do? This guy is perfect, does everything for her. Gives her all these little surprises. I see all this and my green eyed disease comes and rears its ugly head... I know I am blessed with a wonderful guy who completes me in so many ways. I know he is thinking about purposing to me soon,too... But for some reason I am jealous because i know my friend's will be sooo much better then mine. It is soo stupid! Jealousy is soo stupid!! I don't understand why everything looks sooo much better with other people when God has given it to me so good! It is a great reminder to me that I need to count my blessings every day. When I see the things He has blessed me with I need to say "Thank You Father" and keep my green eyes on Him, not on others.
You know what is right, so you don't need to hear it from me; you already have said it better then I ever could. What I will suggest to you though is what you think you need is only a "learned need." By, what you have been influenced "by" throughout your life has taught you to think and feel about things in the way that you do; but please understand that this "teaching" is learned, and learned only--in other words, it isn't true or right.
By acknowledging, that, what you think you need--the green monster's tail--is only something 'you were taught to think you need it' will in time disolve the 'need.'
What I am trying to say is that it is possible to "un-learn" something, and by doing that--un-learning it--will destroy the green monster! Trust me, I've been there many times.
I hope you are well--you and your boyfriend--and please little sister, remain in Christ; always abide in Him, because apart from Him we can do nothing--and being apart from Him we loose His blessing.
Jesus loves you!
LOL... I use to struggle in this problem as well. I had a best friend who got a boyfriend last year in a season where i felt lonely and i was so angry at God that he gave her what i truly wanted and didnt give me anything! I went on vacation with her and her family and got angry because her boyfriend showed up and I didnt spend barely any time with her because she was always around him. She was my only friend. After she got a boyfriend I barely saw her and we rarely would talk on the phone. She was always on the phone talking to him and she never picked up any of my phone calls. I was upset for a while but I started realizing that I was being selfish and I should have been happy for her because she truely deserved having an awesome man into her life. I just tried my best to change my attitude and I found other friends and I realized everyone has their time and a season of prosperity, love, suffering, loneliness, sadness etc. I kinda live on my own too with my brother and its been a struggle. I dont get to have the luxery of going to school or being supported by my parents and that truely sucks! What keeps me gonig is truely hoping in God and dieing to myself and living for Him. I prefer to be poor living under a bridge with the passport and guarantee I'm going to heaven, than to be like those girls you mentioned, rich yet Lost in the very scum of the world of luxery and money and only guaranteed to go to hell... :)