Beth M

Two  Years.  Oh my love.  Oh my Love.  Two Years.  How can it be.  How...

So the Two Year Sadiversary is coming up.  I would have thought by now that I would have some idea of what I wanted to do with my life.  I sort of set it as a deadline for making decisions.  You know, what am I going to do with my house what am I...

Oh my Love, Oh my Love, So much has happened. So much. I do not recognize the person I am. I would have thought that God would have helped me become a better person. He has not. I still cannot hear him most of the time. You were my man of God. You...

The Bubble Has Popped Today is my Birthday. Not just any birthday. The Big One. I said Good-Bye to my fifties last night and said Hello to the Big Six-Oh. I am not ready for this. But not at all for the reasons you presume. I care not a whit about...

Several weeks ago at Grief Group, one of the Widows mentioned that her anniversary was coming up. She said that she was going to visit Archie and release some orange balloons for their wedding anniversary. She explained that Archie was a great...

I did not write this. This letter has been circulating for some time around widow/er hangouts. I wrote some blogs with similar sentiments, but this person put most of "our" sentiments together quite well. If you know anyone who has lost...

Widowhood brings with it many challenges, not the least of which is taking on the jobs of both spouses. I was spoiled completely, as Kirk took care of everything. I knew where to put gas into the car, but that was about it. Since, as you recall, I had...

My dear fellow CBers. I love you dearly. And some of you have been truly wonderful. Some of you are clueless, but that is not your fault. I was most definitely clueless before joining the ranks of the Widowed. My faith will get me through. HA! All of...

It is almost 4 months. The entire world thinks I should be "better" by now. Thank God for Grief Groups. I go to 3 of them. And in them, I find other people who are in the same boat. It is NOT unusual to not be any better at this point. In...

Where are you, God? Where are you? I can't feel you; I can't hear you. I am drowning. People say that Kirk is by me. No, he is not. He is awaiting the Lord's return. I don't feel his presence; I feel only his absence. So this is why we...

It's been 3 weeks. 3 weeks. A lifetime. I can't stop crying. I can't find any reason to go on. I know God must have a reason for keeping me here; but I certainly can't feel it. I still can't hear Him. I still can't feel Him. I...

Oh, my dear Friends at CB. You are keeping me breathing. Which, most of the time I do not view as a good thing. I have no reason to get out of bed. Then I think, "I need to check CB" and I get out of bed. Today I visited his grave. Not a bad...

This will be a very difficult thing to write. You see, I found Kirk's "Last Will and Desires" in our Safe Deposit Box. I am so sorry, My Honey, I am so very very sorry. I did not do what he wanted. He is not buried where he wanted to be...

The family is gone and it's been over a week since my Honey left this life. You'd think I would be able to function now. You'd think I would get dressed. There are a zillion things to do. I can't seem to do one of them. People ask me...

My dearest Love, 48 hours ago this minute, the phone rang. Never ever ever in my wildest dreams would I ever believe that I would never see you again. 28 years ago today, I became whole, when I became your wife. I can't believe you are gone. I...

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