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Beth M @blest (United States)
My dearest Love, 48 hours ago this minute, the phone rang. Never ever ever in my wildest dreams would I ever believe that I would never see you again. 28 years ago today, I became whole, when I became your wife. I can39;t believe you are gone. I... read more
771 words · ~3 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
Today is your birthday. The third since you died. But you have not aged. You will forever be 63. We had a big snowstorm this past weekend. You and I would have had so much fun. It was the kind of snowstorm you and I dreamed about. Getting snowed... read more
131 words · ~1 minute to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
Two Years. Oh my love. Oh my Love. Two Years. How can it be. How have I survived two years without you? Not gracefully that39;s for sure. I cried at your grave... read more
673 words · ~2 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
So the Two Year Sadiversary is coming up. I would have thought by now that I would have some idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I sort of set it as a deadline for making decisions. You know, what am I going to do with my house what am I... read more
159 words · ~1 minute to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
Oh my Love, Oh my Love, So much has happened. So much. I do not recognize the person I am. I would have thought that God would have helped me become a better person. He has not. I still cannot hear him most of the time. You were my man of God. You... read more
900 words · ~3 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
The Bubble Has Popped Today is my Birthday. Not just any birthday. The Big One. I said GoodBye to my fifties last night and said Hello to the Big SixOh. I am not ready for this. But not at all for the reasons you presume. I care not a whit about... read more
730 words · ~3 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
Several weeks ago at Grief Group, one of the Widows mentioned that her anniversary was coming up. She said that she was going to visit Archie and release some orange balloons for their wedding anniversary. She explained that Archie was a great... read more
1021 words · ~4 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
I did not write this. This letter has been circulating for some time around widower hangouts. I wrote some blogs with similar sentiments, but this person put most of quot;ourquot; sentiments together quite well. If you know anyone who has lost... read more
1836 words · ~7 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
Widowhood brings with it many challenges, not the least of which is taking on the jobs of both spouses. I was spoiled completely, as Kirk took care of everything. I knew where to put gas into the car, but that was about it. Since, as you recall, I had... read more
1224 words · ~5 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
My dear fellow CBers. I love you dearly. And some of you have been truly wonderful. Some of you are clueless, but that is not your fault. I was most definitely clueless before joining the ranks of the Widowed. My faith will get me through. HA! All of... read more
675 words · ~2 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
It is almost 4 months. The entire world thinks I should be quot;betterquot; by now. Thank God for Grief Groups. I go to 3 of them. And in them, I find other people who are in the same boat. It is NOT unusual to not be any better at this point. In... read more
720 words · ~3 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
Where are you, God? Where are you? I can39;t feel you; I can39;t hear you. I am drowning. People say that Kirk is by me. No, he is not. He is awaiting the Lord39;s return. I don39;t feel his presence; I feel only his absence. So this is why we... read more
505 words · ~2 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
It39;s been 3 weeks. 3 weeks. A lifetime. I can39;t stop crying. I can39;t find any reason to go on. I know God must have a reason for keeping me here; but I certainly can39;t feel it. I still can39;t hear Him. I still can39;t feel Him. I... read more
605 words · ~2 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
Oh, my dear Friends at CB. You are keeping me breathing. Which, most of the time I do not view as a good thing. I have no reason to get out of bed. Then I think, quot;I need to check CBquot; and I get out of bed. Today I visited his grave. Not a bad... read more
386 words · ~1 minute to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
This will be a very difficult thing to write. You see, I found Kirk39;s quot;Last Will and Desiresquot; in our Safe Deposit Box. I am so sorry, My Honey, I am so very very sorry. I did not do what he wanted. He is not buried where he wanted to be... read more
749 words · ~3 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
The family is gone and it39;s been over a week since my Honey left this life. You39;d think I would be able to function now. You39;d think I would get dressed. There are a zillion things to do. I can39;t seem to do one of them. People ask me... read more
842 words · ~3 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
My dearest Love, 48 hours ago this minute, the phone rang. Never ever ever in my wildest dreams would I ever believe that I would never see you again. 28 years ago today, I became whole, when I became your wife. I can39;t believe you are gone. I... read more
789 words · ~3 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
I sometimes wonder what life would have been like had I actually used my highly expensive college education instead of spending my working life as a waitress. My fellow graduates are heads of corporations, highly regarded doctors, astronomically paid... read more
1127 words · ~4 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
For those of you who are really interested... I am going to try to explain, in laymen39;s terms, and with my advanced artistic talent, as you can see , what did and is happening with Kirk. The lovely artistic rendering on the left, is a simple heart... read more
976 words · ~4 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
That is a picture from my high school yearbook, of my mother handing me my diploma, or actually shoving it into my clavicle. My mother was on the school board, so she was allowed to personally present my diploma to me. I was 17 and my mother was 44 read more
964 words · ~4 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
My last blog in this series was about one of our own, kreynolds, who dropped everything and drove 500 miles to stay with me for a week. I would like to introduce you to another one of our own here at CB, who made the trip here also. I have a copy of... read more
972 words · ~4 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
912014 We have learned that Kirk M(blessings2you) has had to be taken to the ICU he is unconscious but stable. Please say a pray for Kirk and share your thoughts here. 932014 8PMPST At this point in time Kirk is still in ICU and is still... read more
1350 words · ~5 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
quot;But God is a god of miracles. Not only did He bring my Kirkus back from the brink of death, He surrounded me with His Angel Army and they brought me safely through.quot; In the beginning they were black coffee and hot tea. Then they were the... read more
776 words · ~3 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
As many of you know, last fall was the most difficult time in Kirk39;s and my life Kirk was oblivious to it at the time, as he was unconscious and fighting for his life. I was an utter mess. God sent His angel army, not only to surround Kirk with... read more
1610 words · ~7 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
Hello All, It is day 45 of Kirk being in the hospital... the third one now. Thank you all for your time and labor of love in praying for Kirk. God has answered prayers and he is doing so much better! I think I told you he is in an acute rehab... read more
517 words · ~2 minutes to read · published
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Beth M @blest (United States)
quot;See, I have called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, To devise cunning... read more
947 words · ~4 minutes to read · published
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