Raynard Shellow | ChristianBlog.Com

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

"The 3 Little Pigs skipped the main meal at the Hawaiian Luau

Disclaimer, My wife posted one of these stories yesterday on FB so148; great minds think alike148; Imagine fo a moment. A piece of jazz playing, piano and violin. As it fades out the music during 147;the Greyhound Bus ride that Morgan Freeman... read more

511 words · ~2 minutes to read · published 2014-08-07T09:28:57-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'The Jolly Green Giant was "married to The 50ft Women

Before 147;Oprah, 147;Big Momma148; ,39;Madea148; there would be my mother.She didnt 147;yell or scream at you like, a Army or Marine Drill instructor, Football or Basketball coach. The Board 147;she corrected you with wasn39;t... read more

368 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2014-05-09T09:06:26-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

"Dorthy(Wizard of Oz) got there using"Siri"on her smartphone.

(Disclaimer 147;Imagine Rod Sterling from the old 147;Twilight Zone singing Barbra Streisand song148; 147;People148; .. ( Cough Cough, 147;People.. People who need People are luckiest People in the world148; .. I digress. Just this... read more

330 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2014-01-16T13:25:46-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

"Oscar Madison( Odd Couple) drove a trash recycling truck

(Disclaimer I meant to write this in the fall but it can apply now to the end of the year) I remember growing up hearing 2 songs talking about 147;seasons148; .Most of us think about when we look at a calendar. Or when we notice it gets darker... read more

413 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-12-31T14:46:22-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'The Incredible Hulk needs Anger Management classes"

The Me Nobody Knows39; Fear There was the time I played 147;Hide and Go Seek. I played so well as I ran around the corner to the local H.S. No one never came and found me as it got dark. Did anyone care that I was gone? It was 147;the fear of... read more

484 words · ~2 minutes to read · published 2013-11-30T14:42:53-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'If God was a Janitor, did he use "Mr Clean"

A chameleon, leopard, zebra, and peacock.. The song148; one of these things is not like the other doesn39;t apply. Why? The commonality is they blend into their surroundings to protect themselves from 147;sleeping with the fishes148; ... We... read more

365 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-11-28T05:39:13-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Do people still read inside covers of matchbooks"?

Disclaimer( Irsquo;m not on a ldquo;spiritual quest to findrdquo;the meaning of liferdquo;or having ardquo;mid life crisis) Back in the 1960rsquo;s my first best friend was my next door neighbor David. We would stay friend until we both joined... read more

549 words · ~2 minutes to read · published 2013-07-22T14:40:51-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

' A Mole taught me to "read braille'

(Disclaimer)(Different from most ever felt likerdquo;a blind dog with a ldquo;seeing eyed man?) I remember growing up there was this one t.v station that ldquo;wasn039;t part ofrdquo;the big 3.( Fox wasnt around yet). They broadcast out of NJ... read more

481 words · ~2 minutes to read · published 2013-07-15T08:23:10-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Does anyone"recycle" from the island of"misfit toys"?

Disclaimer, lsquo;I can see clearly now the rain has gone.I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me down. Itrsquo;s gonna be a bright bright bright bright sun shiny day. Thatrsquo;s how my day started yesterday along... read more

561 words · ~2 minutes to read · published 2013-05-25T09:51:05-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Grandpa Munster turned his dungeon into"a man cave"

Disclaimer, lsquo;Do you know the way to San Jose, Irsquo;ve been away so long,I may go wrong and lose my way.. lsquo;Rand McNally andrdquo;Google mapsrdquo; might of help, ya think? When I was in high school, one summer job I had was working in... read more

474 words · ~2 minutes to read · published 2013-05-22T16:56:47-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Can you trust a boa constrictor to take your blood pressure?"

Disclaimer, lsquo;I wanna be a forest ranger, stand around commune with nature.. I wanna live in a tree..( no irsquo;m not a ldquo;tree hugger either I use to sing this song in boot camp lol) Irsquo;ve been on a ldquo;tangentrdquo; lately. I... read more

391 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-05-20T15:53:42-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'What part of the monkey does 'Monkey Bread come from?

Disclaimer,rdquo;Rain , Rain go away, Come back another day( keep down the pollen for my allergies) A dark stormy night would turn in 5 months of days and nights.My soul would cry out as it was hungry and didn039;t want anyrdquo;junk... read more

430 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-05-15T13:06:49-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'You'll never see"101 Dalmatians on a rescue fire truck

Disclaimer lsquo;Help, I need somebody..Help, not just anybody..Help you know I need someone ,Help..One of my all time favorite T.V shows was called lsquo;Emergencyrdquo;. It told the story of 2 Firemen John Gage and Roy Desoto how they became... read more

391 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-05-01T09:28:31-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Darren( bewitched) sang the song"Mother in law for Endora'

Disclaimer, lsquo;Know when to hold them.. Know when to fold them.. Know when to walk away.. I remember a story I use to tell people about having this dream where I was trapped in a sewer. Did I forget to mention, I was barefoot and being... read more

298 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-04-15T17:42:21-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Mustard,'D Batteries, a Dead Bird and a Greyhound Bus Ride

Disclaimer, Life is so crazy and people amaze me, the way there always runnin around, they dont the time to really be real..There too busy , too busy to feel.. For the past month or so those words to one of my favorite songs sung over 36 years ago, I... read more

429 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-04-14T06:34:10-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Freddy Kruger never played'Twister' or graduated "Barber School'

Disclaimer lsquo;But thatrsquo;s what makes the world gorsquo; round, the up and down the carousel changing people they gorsquo;round, go underground young man.. People make the world gorsquo; round. I remember growing up how my mom listen to and... read more

415 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-03-30T06:48:38-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Louie(from taxi) drove the clown car in the circus".

Disclaimer lsquo;This is it, This is it, this is life , the one you get, so go and have a ball..rdquo; I remember growing up my oldest brother worked in the corner ldquo;drug storersquo; as they were called of our neighborhood.Must of been me... read more

449 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-03-02T04:19:55-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'The Double Mint Twins'always finished each other's sentences'.

Disclaimer ldquo;Gimme a break, Now I know what it takes, Irsquo;m putting the new face on the old one, ready for anything..(Wherersquo;s the ldquo;pine sol lady happy anniversary to my wife I digress).I was ldquo;down memory lanestuck in the... read more

400 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-02-23T03:28:15-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Does Smokey the Bear wear 'Wrangler or'Levi' jeans?

lsquo;Disclaimerrdquo;lsquo;That old Compromisin, Enterprisin anything but Traqulizin,Right On Mauderdquo;.. Now tell me that wasnt a ldquo;tongue twister I liked how she ldquo;dealt with Archie Bunker as Edithrsquo;s cousin. Is it true after... read more

357 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2013-01-06T13:05:03-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Was Simon Sinister(underdog) related to "Grandpa" from "the Munsters?

Diclaimer, When the movierdquo;Jawsrdquo; came out, I thought the shark was real. I digress When I was attending high school, I was dating a young lady who sang in our schoolrsquo;s cantata.(fancy word for choir lol). Little did I know, my best... read more

414 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2012-11-10T16:48:37-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Dietrich(Barney Miller) use to be a 'encyclopedia salesman"

Disclaimer,Making your way in the world today takes eveyrthing you got. Taking a break from all your worries sure would help alot .Wouldnrsquo;t you like to get away? They can play this song at my wake long as they don039;t serversquo; fried... read more

383 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2012-11-10T11:46:10-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'A Mime gets arrested.Does he give up"the right to remain silent'?

Disclaimer, Who are the people in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood.. That song makes me think back to my childhood.The first person I ldquo;remember in my neighborhood professionally was the trash man. Then it was the... read more

387 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2012-11-10T07:00:57-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'George Burns 'waited for the"early bird special" at the diner.

Disclaimer,rsquo;Wersquo;re gonna turn it on, Wersquo;re gonna bring you the power. lsquo;Wersquo;re gonna light up the dark of night like the brightest day in a whole new way..I remember when this show first came on TV. That was the first time... read more

382 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2012-11-10T05:58:48-0800

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Oscar the Grouch' needs to "recycle" his trash can.

Growing up, my bio dad was known as ldquo;A man about townrdquo;..This wasnt to say he attended fancy wine and cheese parties or attended a country club. He was known as one of ldquo;the nieghborhood bookiesrdquo;.(And he didnt spend his free time... read more

307 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2012-10-13T10:39:53-0700

Raynard Shellow @iraqivetsgtret (United States)

'Ralph Kramden(Honeymooners) made it to the moon before his wife Alice

Disclaimerrsquo; And the catrsquo;s in the cradle, and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon.. I still remember the astronauts landing on the moon and me drinkingrdquo;Tangrdquo; I digress. When I graduated the grade school... read more

383 words · ~1 minute to read · published 2012-09-15T05:33:47-0700