I have published 100 blogs and shared 276 comments.
I published my first blog on Friday the 14th of November 2008.
My most recent blog was published on Sunday the 2nd of December 2018.
I currently live in: Australia.
My local date/time is: Tue 19, 12:56 pm.
My oldest brother Luke attempted to take his life this morning and was found by my 8 year old niece who called the ambulance and police. He lives in Sydney with his Fiancé and their 4 children. Please keep the family in your prayers. They have taken him to hospital under a section and won't be released until they say so. Mum has raced up there ( 3 hrs away) and I've not heard anything more yet.
Something big is happening for me. Something exciting but incredibly scary which has got me in a place of pondering who I am and what makes me, me. These are the discussions barb and I will be having between now and June when I go under the knife for some surgery the drs say will save my life.
Just putting it out there, things right now really suck. Apparently rock bottom teaches lessons that we never learn on mountain tops.
Barb: Shani, close your eyes and we will start again
Shani: Sigh, ok. I'm sorry, But I'm not good at it.
Barb turns program back on for 5 minute interval and I close my eyes.
56 seconds later
Barb: Shani why are your eyes open.
The life of complex PTSD and therapy.
Today's appt with Barb was just what the dr ordered. I feel the most tired and exhausted I have felt in a long time right now. Walking away from my appt believing it's going to be okay.
Angiogram done. Was booked in for tomorrow but they called late yesterday afternoon to see if we could bring it forward. Amazing how it's done! A small incision in my wrist but that's about it. Odd feeling. No blocked arteries for me though which is a good thing, will get the rest of the results next week. Amazing what they can do really.
A big day tomorrow in the medical space. Appointments with Barb, the surgeon and the cardiologist. These days always makes me feel a little nervy.
I am headed off to Fiji this arvo for a week just in case anyone goes to try and look for me. :) Chances are you won't find me as I will be fairly well off the grid. How about that, a Gen Y person surviving with no internet. Wish me luck! ;)
i know the movie has been out for ages and you have all probably heard the song but man this got me in tears today. Doesn't really take much at the moment
Now On Digital: http://bit.ly/TheGreatestShowman-Digital Now On Blu-ray & DVD: http://bit.ly/GreatestShowmanShop Inspired by the imagination of P.T. Barnum, ...
Day 4 and number 4 panic attack. Another week off work, another dr, another medication. There has to be more to life than this. Not after pity or prayer but this gig is wearing pretty thin.
Left with some pretty big decisions to make as far as my health goes. This adulting business is fairly overrated I have decided.
I'm going off the grid for a couple of weeks until the inquest into Kate's death is over. I will keep my messenger logged in and will respond to emails etc but I feel like there's no escape from it at the moment and i need some.
This week is a roller coaster of emotions. Yesterday was day 1 of a 4 week inquest into my friend Kate's death. Kate was killed with her brother in a horrific accident at a theme park in October 2016. The media are showing a lot stories on it and everywhere I look, I see photos of Kate. It wrecked me then and still wrecks me now. Tomorrow I am also meeting a new cardiologist who is taking over my care and Friday I'm in to see Barb.
Breathe Shani.. in and out.
Today is not a good day. This new medication is less than ideal.
Just off the phone to my Nan. They have found aggressive cancer in my Pops lungs, kidney and liver. He won't be having any treatment. Not a matter of if but when. All they will do is make sure he is not in any pain.
Life can be pretty cruel sometimes.
I am the proud owner of an egg. Not a cute one, but the one that lives right in the middle of the forehead after a fall. One minute I was fine, next minute I was flat on my face having hit the freezer door on my way down.
I did it. I made the infamous mistake. See, when you are on the up, you think your invincible. You cancel your appointments and support groups. You make lots of dumb choices be them social or financial. You also think you don't need the tablets anymore. So you stop taking them.
And then as quick as the high comes, it leaves. Without warning the switch flicks over and you have nothing to fall back on. Nothing.
It's the nature of the beast I guess.
Be brave for one more day. And after that, be brave for the next.