I have been a member of ChristianBlog.Com for 9 years, 7 months and 29 days.

  I have published 2,248 blogs and 6,671 comments.

 My most recent blog was published: Mar 28 2017 07:01:29am

 I currently live in: United States.
  Walking With God In The Midst of Cancer

Four months after I joined CB, I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. I began writing blogs about my journey a few days after I learned about my tumor. This series is a collection of some of those blogs.

I went through surgery, chemotherapy and radiation in from January 2008-August 2008. As of this date, August 18, 2011, there is still no evidence of recurrence of cancer.

You or a loved one may be battling an illness or it may be a difficult and long situation you are going through. Whatever the case, it is my prayer that these blogs will speak to your heart in some way and encourage you to remember that God is with you even in the darkness and He will turn your darkness into light!

  Blogs In Series
Being in god's hand as it passes through cancer?
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
This has been a very long week. Right before Thanksgiving, I went in for a routine mammogram. I didn't get the first message (which came on my birthday) because we weren't home. I actually got an email alert that test results could be viewed on my electronic medical chart. I'm glad this "mix-up" occured because the chart gave me a lot more information. This enabled me to be prepared me for what was to come when I went in for an ultrasound yesterday. I wasn't familiar with the term used to describe my tumor so I did what I tell my students to do when they don't understand something. I looked it up and did a bit of research. I learned that the type of tumor is almost always malignant. Not 100% of course but the probability of cancer was extremely high. God was......
Teardrops
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
This has been a very long week. Last Monday morning, I got the test results back on a routine mammogram and by Thursday I learned that it is highly unlikely that the type of tumor I have is not cancer. It's not impossible, of course. That's the case sometimes but it's rare enough that no one wanted to raise my hopes. As I wrote earlier, God has been surrounding me with incredible people; many of whom were brought into my life within this past year. That is evidence enough that God foresaw this moment in time and he won't leave me hanging. Verses from the Word have been ever present in my mind. Every morning when I've awakened, Chris Tomlin's rendition of "How Can I Keep From Singing?" is running through my mind. What a joy it is to wake up with music......
Pressed but not crushed
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Cor. 4: 8-9 (NIV) 2 Corinthians 4 is a passage I have turned to so much over the years. I remember as a young mom, we were going through a very difficult time financially. I'd quit my job for ethical reasons and hadn't worked for six months. It just seemed that life was getting tougher and tougher. As I sat at the table with tears streaming down my cheeks, I opened my Bible. The words, "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment..." jumped out at me. I began to laugh. This trial, this situation wasn't going to last forever! It might seem like forever while I'm going through it, but it was only one brief......
The joy of the lord is your strength
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
As a child I learned a song based on a portion of Nehemiah 8:10 which says "The joy of the Lord is my strength". Over the years I have found that to be so true! In my deepest, darkest moments when I've sought for the joy of the Lord, I've always been filled with incredible strength. Does this mean it has always come instantaneously? No. Although I have to confess that has often been the case in my life, that has not always been true. Sometimes you have to pursue it. To pursue something, you have to never give up until you catch what you're after. Sometimes while you're pursuing it, you get discouraged. It seems like it will be impossible to catch your prey. However, when you're pursuing it with your whole heart, you don't give up. If you quit pursuing it,......
God's plans
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
Plans. Most of us have them. Some of us have very detailed, precise plans complete with time lines. We know exactly what we are going to do and how it is going to be accomplished. We have a "vision" in our head. I'm not one of those people. That's not to say that I don't have plans. It's just that my plans have a tendency to be a bit more...flexible. Okay, I have a tendency to suddenly be hit with inspiration and take off at a moments notice. God, knowing that my free-spirit needed to be a bit more anchored brought a cooler, more practical head into my life in the form of my husband. However, that's another story. We're not the only ones who make plans. God makes plans as well. His plans are not random, last minute things like mine. Unfortunately, we......
In sickness and in health... ..
K Reynolds+
published . 3 min read
On Monday morning, I confidently entered the hospital with my husband. I had an 8:00 a.m. appointment with my surgeon at a clinic located in a downtown hospital. Because we lived about 20 miles away and rush hour traffic can be unpredictable, we decided to leave in plenty of time. If we got there early, we could always get a paper and head to the cafeteria for awhile. We arrived about 45 minutes early. The clinic wasn't open yet. We headed to the cafeteria and spent some time reading and discussing articles we were reading in the paper. Actually, I have to admit I do most of the discussing:) I was feeling great. I had a lot of people encouraging and praying for me. I'd been spending a lot of time with God through prayer and the Word. I felt strong and confident that God had......
Beams of light in the storm
K Reynolds+
published . 1 min read
Today has been a great day. Some little beams of light are shining upon the storm waves I'm riding right now. I think it's exciting how God can cause positive things to come out of things that normally would be destructive. Today I learned about two positive things that have occurred since I was diagnosed with cancer. 1. After learning that I did have cancer, I sent an email to member services at my HMO. I wanted a thank you note to be forwarded to the appointment line department. I'd set the appointment for the mammogram which revealed my cancer when the woman who set the appointment for a routine appointment brought my attention to the fact that I'd missed my last mammogram. I wanted to thank them for going the extra mile. It may have saved my life. Today, my husband got......
United in mind and thought
K Reynolds+
published . 3 min read
"I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought." 1 Corinthians 1:10 (NIV) I've been thinking a lot lately about divisions within the Body of Christ. Far too often, Followers of Christ build up walls of division between each other. We forget that which we have in common. We were all born under the curse of sin. God loved us so much he sent his only son to die for our sins. Jesus was resurrected and ascended to the Father. He is our advocate. Anyone...yes, anyone...who repents of their sin and accepts God's forgiveness shall receive God's pardon or salvation. Furthermore, we are to be witnesses of what God has......
Living in the shelter of the most high
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you. Just open your eyes, and see how the wicked are punished. If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most......
A friendly shoulder to cry on
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
After spending four days in Indiana with my in-laws, we stopped in Chicago for a couple of days. My husband, son and I needed a little fun time. My son's girlfriend was in Chicago visiting her family so while he visited with them, my husband and I roamed around town and had a much-needed break as well as some married-couple time. As we headed home, my husband discovered that he had a voicemail message from one of our friends who was producing and directing a musical which was closing today. My husband had helped build the set. If we got back in time, we were invited to come out to the cast party which would be this evening. We decided we would probably arrive home in time. We knew some of the actors and actresses as well as some of the technical crew. We had worked with some of the......
Dangerous prayers
K Reynolds+
published . 3 min read
I was rummaging around in the CB attic again and found a blog near the bottom of my box of blogs. At the time of writing I was trying to make a determination as to whether I would have a lumpectomy or mastectomy. At this time we had no idea if the cancer was in the lymph nodes. It was a great time of uncertainty. Looking back 19 months later, I marvel at God's response to this "dangerous prayer". Since writing this blog, God has provided me with the opportunity to minister to other women with breast cancer, minister to caregivers, minister to people through my Survivors of Chronic Disease group here at CB. I also am now running Princesses of God here at CB which is a ministry group for women. Has it been worth it? Absolutely and just think...the very best is about to be!......
The god who provides (without fail)
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
During this time of year, my mind goes back to Christmas' past. Usually it goes back to December 1988. When it does so, I am reminded of God's love and provision. I also have a vivid reminder that God can take catastrophe and turn it into something wonderful. My son was three years old that year. I had quit my job for ethical reasons in October and still was not working. Finances were extremely slim. Christmas was upon us and I did not know how I would pay the gas bill let alone buy gifts. I received a phone from a cousin of my mom's instructing me to call ASAP. This was in the days before cell phones. I tried calling but kept getting a busy signal. Finally we connected, a fire had started at their house when no one was home and everything had been destroyed. Their daughter,......
A conqueror and something more!
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
I set up a care page for myself yesterday. I decided it was an easy way to let people know what was going on without having to make a zillion phone calls all the time. While good news is always easy to relay, sharing news which makes people feel sad is very wearing on you...especially when you're the one making them feel sad. After getting it set up to a certain degree, I sent out invitations late last night and started getting a few visitors. One of my friends left me the following verse: "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37 (NIV) Now, this is a well-known verse to me, however what's wonderful about the Word of God is that it is always fresh and new (like ice cream). I'd never say something like "Well,......
Are you surviving or thriving?
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
I'd shared with my son the American Cancer Society's definition of who is a cancer survivor. They say that once you are diagnosed with cancer you become a survivor because you go into survivor mode. This is an important state of mind to be in. While you will deal with numbness, shock, and what I call melt-down moments, overall you are plotting and planning your course of action. What do you need to beat this thing. While it might overtake you eventually, you are going to do your utmost to keep it at bay as long as possible. While not all cancer survivors will live long lives by any means, you are more likely survive longer if you're in survivor mode. While this is all well and good, my son said something about it being one thing to survive and another thing to thrive. I......
Living in a construction zone
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
The church we have been attending for a little year own the warehouse where we meet. Recently the leases expired for a couple of major tenants (Wal-Mart and the local newspaper). We didn't renew the leases because we're growing and need the extra space. As a result, our church is currently under a lot of construction. In addition, we just started a satellite campus about 30 miles away. A church felt they weren't impacting their community anymore. So, they were looking for someone to come in and take over. We only had to pay off the balance which was less than $190,000.00 on a property valued at over 2 million. That's not bad at all so we did it. We already had a few families in the area driving all the way to our church so it was a perfect fit. Their first service was......
You can run but you can't hide!
K Reynolds+
published . 1 min read
I love reading Psalm 139. I'm not going to quote it all, but here is a some of it: Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy......
Following jesus...no matter what!
K Reynolds+
published . 3 min read
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in the third chapter of Daniel. King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon made a golden image that was 90 feet tall and nine feet wide. After setting it up, a decree was sent out. When the music played, everyone was to fall down and worship the image. Failure to do so would result in being cast into the furnace. When the music sounded, all fell down to worship the image, except for Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. It is interesting to me that Nebuchadnezzar attempts to give them a second chance. Nebuchadnezzar had a vast empire. He was a powerful conqueror. His name struck fear into the hearts of people. He was a man of action. It was uncharacteristic of him to offer anyone a second chance. This suggests that he had a great deal of esteem for these......
Acceptance with joy
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
I've been thinking a great deal about acceptance with joy. I first heard this phrase many years ago when I read "Hinds Feet In High Places" which is an allegory written by Hannah Hurnard. In the story, a character named Much-Afraid very much desires to go to the high places. However, her mouth is crooked and everyone mocks her as being ugly. She also is lame, weak and very fearful. After a series of events, she decides to allow the Shepherd to take her to the high places. She can't wait to go leaping about on the peaks of the high places! After she starts her journey, she discovers and experiences many things she did not expect. At one point, she has to turn away from the high places. Not only does she have her back to them, she also begins to descend rather than ascend.......
How can i keep from singing
K Reynolds+
published . 1 min read
One of the ways God ministers to me is through lyrics. Unlike other members of my family:) I pay much more attention to the lyrics than I do to the music itself. During tough times I have a tendency to latch unto a particular song which becomes my "theme song" for the moment I'm living in. I guess I should explain a little bit. I say moment I am trying to put things into the proper perspective. While it might seem like an eternity to me, it is actually only a moment when compared to eternity! The song I've been listening to lately is "How Can I Keep From Singing" as sung by Chris Tomlin. I have to confess, it hasn't always been easy to keep on singing if I focus on my circumstances. If I focused on that, I would be crying instead. I know that to be true......
How can i keep from singing
K Reynolds+
published . 1 min read
One of the ways God ministers to me is through lyrics. Unlike other members of my family:) I pay much more attention to the lyrics than I do to the music itself. During tough times I have a tendency to latch unto a particular song which becomes my "theme song" for the moment I'm living in. I guess I should explain a little bit. I say moment I am trying to put things into the proper perspective. While it might seem like an eternity to me, it is actually only a moment when compared to eternity! The song I've been listening to lately is "How Can I Keep From Singing" as sung by Chris Tomlin. I have to confess, it hasn't always been easy to keep on singing if I focus on my circumstances. If I focused on that, I would be crying instead. I know that to be true......
Feeling the embrace of god through the body of christ
K Reynolds+
published . 4 min read
Tonight was "Chick Night" at my church. Once a month, about 200-300 women gather together at church and "take over". Once, Sara Groves came as a speaker and we were packed out with over 700 women. I always look forward to this meeting. There's just something special about a bunch of women gathering together to sing, pray and worship God as well as lend support to each other. Yes, a few (very few) men are permitted to enter this domain but we make them wear pink T-shirts that say Chick Night. Tonight was different, however. I didn't want to go. It had been difficult week for me. My surgery was finally set for the end of the month but the waiting game had gotten to me. This week I just felt plain old anger. I wasn't angry at anyone. I was just angry at......
To all of the awesome brothers and sisters in christ!
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
Dear Brothers and Sisters In Christ, I'm heading in for surgery this morning. I just wanted to take the time to thank all of you for the support I've received from you during this time of uncertainty. Some of you have directly given me support. Others have provided support unknowingly through your blogs. I have received so much strength and encouragement as I have read your words. I've read of your struggles and fears. That reminds me that these things fall upon everyone. It doesn't matter who you are, what you do, what your financial status is or what your beliefs are. We live in this world and we are subjected to the things within it. The good news is we are not alone! When we follow Christ, we are walking with him. He fearlessly goes with us. There is no pit too deep or......
Safe and secure in god's hand
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
Earlier this evening, our friends Lynn and Dave stopped by to see how I was feeling after my surgery this past week. Although they go to the Saturday evening service, and my husband and I usually go to the late Sunday morning service, we met last summer when we attended a small group together. This past fall, Dave and Lynn decided to start a small group specifically for those of us in the 40+ age group. We meet a couple of times a month and have a great time. Lynn has been helping me keep everyone updated as to my condition. That's been a huge help for me. Tonight, they came bearing gifts near and dear to a Minnesotan's heart in the middle of a Minnesota winter. A crockpot filled with chicken and wild rice soup with freshly baked hot rolls and of course the gifts of friendship,......
For you alone, oh lord, will keep me safe
K Reynolds+
published . 1 min read
Today was the closest thing to a normal day I've had in the past week. With the return to a bit more normal life, the cares...and fears of this life begin to try to settle down upon me again. As I prepare for post-surgery appointments, treatment decisions, etc. it is easy to allow the dire predictions of man to overwhelm you and provide fertile ground for seeds of fear to prosper in. In this life, we are going to have high, wonderful, powerful moments when it seems like nothing can stop us. Those are wonderful! Our faith is strong. We can clearly see the light. We are confident and our eyes are fixed on him. Then suddenly without warning, the waves roll over us and we feel like we're desperately fighting to survive. We try to cry out, but our mouths fill with water. We stretch out......
When i am weak, then i am strong!
K Reynolds+
published . 4 min read
I awoke this morning thinking about Gideon of all people. The children of Israel had turned from God and they were now suffering the consequences. The Midianites would descend upon them like locust and leave the people with nothing. I remember reading about the great locust plague which hit Minnesota and much of the central and western midwest in the late 1870's. According to accounts, the clouds of locust descended without warning. They were so thick they blacked out the sun. The land was covered with them. Wheat and other crops fell as if they were being harvested and then everything was completely devoured. People built fires around the fields hoping the smoke would keep the pestilence at bay, but it was all in vain. Everything green was destroyed and the land, building, animals......
Great is the faithfulness of the lord!
K Reynolds+
published . 3 min read
Since I'm still recovering from surgery and my physical activity is still somewhat limited (yes, my husband is still waiting on me hand and foot) I've been spending a lot more time on my computer. I've been frequenting some of the various breast cancer discussion boards so that I can both learn more about breast cancer as well as lend support to others. Early on the evening of February 4, a chilling cry of agony was posted from a 40 year-old woman in Australia. She was halfway through her treatment and just couldn't face it anymore. My heart was pierced even more when I realized that our situations are very similar. She also has what is now referred to as triple negative breast cancer. This means there aren't any drugs available to help prevent recurrence of cancer and......
Who are you surrounded by?
K Reynolds+
published . 4 min read
The king of Syria had a big problem. He would meet with his counselors and carefully plan out his attack against Israel. Now the king of Aram was at war with Israel. After conferring with his officers, he said, "I will set up my camp in such and such a place." 2 Kings 6:8 He would gather his army together, head for the appointed place and discover that the forces of Israel were already there waiting for him. The king was enraged. Someone was a traitor! He didn't know God was fully aware of his plans. The man of God sent word to the king of Israel: "Beware of passing that place, because the Arameans are going down there." So the king of Israel checked on the place indicated by the man of God. Time and again Elisha warned the king, so that he was on his guard in such......
My cup runneth over!
K Reynolds+
published . 4 min read
This blog was written on 2/12/08. It was written 13 days after my lumpectomy and 17 days before I had my first chemo infusion. Since I do mention a tumor in this blog as well as upcoming chemotherapy, I wanted to post this message so that anyone reading this blog understands it was posted over a year ago. I also want to reassure my friends here...many who pray for me regularly, that I am not talking about a recurrence in this blog but events which have since taken place. I have to tell you, it has been true. The glass I have has always been full! God did walk with me through a very dark valley and He continues to do so everyday. May this blog bless and encourage those who read it; especially those who are going through their own dark valley. May those of you who were here watching all of......
Choose to rejoice in the day god has made
K Reynolds+
published . 4 min read
When I was in college, my psychology professor started out each class with Psalm 118:24: This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24 She was teaching us that while we might not be able to control what happened to us during the day, we did have control over how we handled our situations. My mom had known her family. Years before, her husband had held a revival at our church. He was highly respected in our denomination. Then, the sad news spread. He had committed suicide. People were stunned. People questioned their own faith. They questioned things he had preached. Had he been honest with them or was everything just talk. Back then, suicide carried a stigma for the family as well. It still does. I'm sure his wife, a psychologist, dealt......
All that i have is yours
K Reynolds+
published . 3 min read
It's a very familiar story. Anyone who ever attended Sunday School is probably quite familiar with it. The story takes place on the shores of the Sea of Galilee. Living in Minnesota, I'm very familiar with how well sound carries when you're down by a lake. I always smile at this...Jesus often made use of God's sound system:)He truly needed it because the Bible tells us there were about 5,000 men there that day. This probably does not take into account the women and children who were undoubtedly present. Even if it does, a miracle was just about to take place. Apparently the disciples had making inquiries to find out exactly what the food situation was. Maybe everyone had bought a picnic in which case they would have to do nothing. The people would have adequate provisions......
Following god...an attitude check
K Reynolds+
published . 3 min read
I got to thinking about the different sort of paths God leads us on. Sometimes we are actually walking on a smooth, pleasant path...for awhile. The birds are singing, flowers are blooming and there are nice shade trees to protect us from the sun. Often there is pleasant company to converse with. There are nice rest stops along the way and plenty of provisions that are freely available. It's a great road trip and I don't know about you but I love great road trips. I love to hit the accelerator (watch it), crank up my tunes and sing at the top of my lungs! I feel powerful and in control. Nothing seems to ruffle my feathers. I'm in high spirits and ready for adventure. Life is good! Sooner or later though, the path will change. It always does. Trust me on that one. It might not......
Remember who you are
K Reynolds+
published . 3 min read
Over the past couple of months, I've come to understand more fully the importance of remembering who you are. As Christians, who exactly are we? The Bible tells us 4 But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, 5 to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. 6 Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. Galatians 4:4-7 When we repent and receive God's gift of salvation, our status changes. We are no longer an orphan. We are "adopted" by God. Not only are we adopted but we are given full rights as sons (and daughters) of God. We......
Cancer-an object lesson on sin
K Reynolds+
published . 6 min read
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the similarities between cancer and sin. I have a tendancy to look at situations in my physical life and apply them to my spiritual life and vice versa. I've done the same thing since my diagnosis back in December. I know this type of illustration has been done by many in the past but I think it's an excellent illustration and bears repeating. Cancer, like a number of other fatal diseases, is usually silent until it is too late. Although some people will experience pain and some of physical symptoms, most people do not notice anything during the early stages. Sometimes they may feel something (like a lump) but often it gets dismissed by general practictioners because most of the time, these lumps are benign. Other times, like in my......
Remember...we're in this together
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
The Israelites, after much complaining (they're so like us sometimes), had partaken of bread from heaven (manna) and had their thirst satisfied by water which God had provided from out of a rock. Their next adventure is pretty predictable. They're about to be attacked by enemies, namely The Amalekites. From what I understand, little is known about these obscure people except that the Bible mentions that Amalek was the grandson of Esau. That's right, Jacob's (Israel's) twin brother. You might say this was sort of a "family issue". I noticed that the usual complaining and threats are absent in this particular passage. It seems like a lot of things fall by the wayside when you're about to be directly confronted by a lot of angry men with weapons that......
His eye is on the sparrow
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
If we take the time to look back upon our lives, we can see the hand of God everywhere. I was thinking about this today after returning from a bi-monthly get-together with my "Sparrow Sisters". Early last September, I was looking at the small group directory which my church had just placed online. A couple of them really jumped out at me. One of them was a new small group called "Mornings With Mary". Mary was going to host a brunch every two weeks. The purpose of this group was to provide an opportunity for fellowship, support, spiritual growth and prayer for women. I had met Mary back in June when we were in a summer group together and thought it sounded fun so I signed up. Little did I know how much I was going to need this group of amazing women. Although it......
My god turns my darkness into light.
K Reynolds+
published . 2 min read
Life was good. I felt strong. I'd been battered but I was still upright. I felt hopeful. I was waiting in anticipation of what would happen next. I even felt joyful because I knew I was in his hand. 1 I love you, O LORD, my strength. 2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. 3 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. Psalm 18: 1-3 (NIV) Then a cloud descended and the darkness settled down around me. I fought against it but it didn't lift.4 The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. 5 The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. Psalm 18:4-5 (NIV) I cried out to the Lord......